Pennyx2's blog

Before Christmas I realised that this What Now site was actually causing me a lot of distress. I know that a lot of the original people have posted (although most of these eg Matt's letter) were removed, but this site is no longer what it was under Cancer Backup, ie a site where one could exchange emotional support, and where one could debate ideas, and put forward tips. Of course as the site got bigger it was bound…

I've been struggling since the sudden death of a friend in November. Emotional disturbances have always impacted on my apetite, and I let slip the careful nutritional plan I have been following for most of the previous twelve months. We had a horrible time dashing about overdoing things trying to cram a holiday (which was supposed to be a treat) into just a few days to race home for the funeral, which was itself very…

I failed to notice the cancer had crawled inside me. I failed to see that my file wore a black armband, That above the gate were the words, "Behandlung macht frei" Although I suspected it when they tattooed me. I did not weep until the word chemo reached out for my golden hair. Hard-won belongings began to run away: A portion of my brain, two of my legs, My stomach, my womb, my job, And the happiness of my Beloved. …

Realised this morning that I had heard nothing since my talk with the Nottingham Hospitals Complaints Department lady on 21st October. Although I have left the Marsden to deal with the Sisyphean task of getting copies of my old scans onto disc and down to them, I have still not had anything about all the other things I brought up in my complaint (misdiagnosis by two stages - Stage 2 when it was actually Stage 4, failure…

I can hardly believe that it just five short weeks since I did the "Horrible News" blog about having heard that my former boss had been diagnosed with secondary cancers. This morning I received a call to say that he died today. He was such a lovely person, considerate, polite - my Mum said, "a real gentleman" although I know that's a very old-fashioned phrase to use nowadays and only people as old as I am will understand…