I know I've been a bit quiet on here recently. A few reasons why.. I find this site too frustrating to get round easily, but that could be because I'm just being a bit thick! Or just plain can't be botherd?
So much has happened since last writing on here,,it all seems so much effort to put into words at the mo.. But since burying great uncle, I'm suprised to say that I've been a bit down.even though I know he had had his life ( being 90yrs old) and I certainly wouldn't want him to have suffered anymore but now I'm left with just looking after mother, which most of you know hasn't been easy for me and I'm ashamed to say that everytime I go to hers I get this overwhelming sense of sadness that she's still here and he isn't.... I miss his kind words, I miss his hugs, I miss his stories.
And all I get from mother is when are you doing this? When are you doing that? When WILl you do this and on and on it goes...I resent her. But yet I'm all she has.
But I'm also baffled...she is absolutely NO different now to how she was when she was first diagnosed...I just don't get it??????
The mac nurses and doctor says ' she's amazing' because she has this strong spirit but I can't admire her because to me she's just plain difficult. I never ever go just to see her, it's always because she wants something, ie curtains changing, carpet shampood, paint her kitchen etc.
Another thing that got to me the other day, years ago she gave me grandmas jug n bowl ( pitcher thing) about 10 years ago....' have you still got grandmas jug n bowl'? 'yes why?' ' can I have it back? You've had it long enough!!!'..
I would never dream of giving something away then asking for it back!
I also heard from a neighbour that she had given uncles Burma Star medal to an old chap in the village and I'm so bloody cross, not the fact that she's given it to an old boy down the road but that she didn't even consider I would want it or my two sons?!!!!
I've had a day curled up on the sofa today because Im full of cough and cold, so nothing's got done because I've had three hot toddies!!
Got the mole man coming tomorow to get rid of the little blighters....they've ruined my garden and I know there will be those who thing they are cute, well you wouldn't think they were so cute if they'd wrecked your garden.so I'm looking forward to him coming!
I'm hoping to go visit my granddaughter Ava soon, I'm missing her cuddles , we have so much fun together especially when we make a den under the kitchen table..ooh I love her.
The FPO ( fun Provention officer) did make a remark about the car needing new tyres befor I went to see her, but I think that's just an excuse so I don't go..!
Hope you don't think I'm too miserable because I'm not really, honest!!
Much love to you all. Oh, time for another hot toddie!! Hic.
FormerMember
Glad you seem to be a bit happier at this end of the replies than at the begining!!
Keep up the good work, and ofcouse the hot toddies!
my parents are elderly (86) and my mum is just the same.have been wanting to spend time with my husband add and i got a phone call from her to want her lawn mowed.i do this so my poor dad does not have to do it.so cycling in rain to do it (10 miles).when i got there she had already had my poor dad do it.
then my brother turns up i am totally blanked and she makes him a cup of tea and they chat together.i kissed and hugged my dad and walked out and cycled home.i phoned my sister up who it turns out had already arranged for someone to cut the grass she was so bloody angry.she has given all her love to my brother and left us two girls with big emotional issues .she has always given stuff to my brother and it is my sister that i feel the most sorry for.she just goes round once a week to shop ect as they are ok at moment.i have not seen my mum or phoned her up yet.you cannot pick your parents and when you know the emotional difference between family members it is hard.i loved my dear old nan to bits so did my sister.playing with your little ava brought back good memories.my nan was poor and we used to play a little game "hide under the kitchen table".well years later i found out that it was rent man day so there was a good reason to hide!!!.she had nothing but would give the world if she could.
please do not stress yourself out over this and make yourself ill you have little ava to think about x.
as to the moles well les who does furniture restoration class where i work has a coppice and lays hedges and makes hurdles,charcoal.rakes bean sticks ect.he also has the job of keeping a golf coarse ! free of moles with his trusty dog nipper and traps.wish i could have sent him to you x.
Hi Michele and Adam,
I've just sent you a friend request, so I can send you a private message.
How lovely of you to write, it's nice to know others understand that not everyone has a good relationship with thier mother..
I love your story of hiding under the table.. Wise nan to make a game out of the rent man , love that story.
The sun is shining and I feel good today, I'm going to have another coffee in the garden with my two pooches.
Will send you a message when we are fwiends!!!!!
Much Love to you both
Mandy.xxx
