I know I've been a bit quiet on here recently. A few reasons why.. I find this site too frustrating to get round easily, but that could be because I'm just being a bit thick! Or just plain can't be botherd?
So much has happened since last writing on here,,it all seems so much effort to put into words at the mo.. But since burying great uncle, I'm suprised to say that I've been a bit down.even though I know he had had his life ( being 90yrs old) and I certainly wouldn't want him to have suffered anymore but now I'm left with just looking after mother, which most of you know hasn't been easy for me and I'm ashamed to say that everytime I go to hers I get this overwhelming sense of sadness that she's still here and he isn't.... I miss his kind words, I miss his hugs, I miss his stories.
And all I get from mother is when are you doing this? When are you doing that? When WILl you do this and on and on it goes...I resent her. But yet I'm all she has.
But I'm also baffled...she is absolutely NO different now to how she was when she was first diagnosed...I just don't get it??????
The mac nurses and doctor says ' she's amazing' because she has this strong spirit but I can't admire her because to me she's just plain difficult. I never ever go just to see her, it's always because she wants something, ie curtains changing, carpet shampood, paint her kitchen etc.
Another thing that got to me the other day, years ago she gave me grandmas jug n bowl ( pitcher thing) about 10 years ago....' have you still got grandmas jug n bowl'? 'yes why?' ' can I have it back? You've had it long enough!!!'..
I would never dream of giving something away then asking for it back!
I also heard from a neighbour that she had given uncles Burma Star medal to an old chap in the village and I'm so bloody cross, not the fact that she's given it to an old boy down the road but that she didn't even consider I would want it or my two sons?!!!!
I've had a day curled up on the sofa today because Im full of cough and cold, so nothing's got done because I've had three hot toddies!!
Got the mole man coming tomorow to get rid of the little blighters....they've ruined my garden and I know there will be those who thing they are cute, well you wouldn't think they were so cute if they'd wrecked your garden.so I'm looking forward to him coming!
I'm hoping to go visit my granddaughter Ava soon, I'm missing her cuddles , we have so much fun together especially when we make a den under the kitchen table..ooh I love her.
The FPO ( fun Provention officer) did make a remark about the car needing new tyres befor I went to see her, but I think that's just an excuse so I don't go..!
Hope you don't think I'm too miserable because I'm not really, honest!!
Much love to you all. Oh, time for another hot toddie!! Hic.
