Two whole days of constant ramblings from Gt Uncle, for anybody who's seen my other posts you will know we have had the queen mother at the back door ( but he was very disappointed in her hat!) we've had ships going passed the front of the house! Then there were foxes in the garden, then ants all over the kitchen, on the wall on the floor on his hands..so there was me mother and Gt Uncle all stamping on these ( invisible ants..t) he then decided to throw his cup of tea all over the floor!
While we are all stamping on the ants..the doctor turns up and lets herself in, ..now I don't like awkward silences so asked her to help stamp on some ants!!!!..
It's been decided that he's got a chest infection again so he's now on antibiotics which we know will get him back on track but it's so wearing , especially when he's hallucinating so badly, he also refused to go to bed last night, so I slept on the chair downstairs with him,.but the doctor says we should leave him downstairs alone after unplugging all electrics so he can't attempt to cook like he did on tue!! My main concern was what if he fell in the night?? She didn't seem at all concerned just that mother needed to have her sleep in order to cope during the day.
Seems unkind really, I asked about some respite care but she was of the opinion that this would cause more confusion for him and it's best we struggle on?!
I'm at home now and hope he's a good boy and goes to bed when the carer comes, and not call her 'bouncing Bertha' or say she looks like a lump of lard, like he did the other day!
She's a great girl and totally understands, thank god!
Mother is a tad more tetchy today because of lack of sleep but also because she's not had her daily dose of buying from QVC...I hid her credit card (oops)
Think I'll have 40 winks!!
Mandy x
FormerMember
Oh Mandy I hontestly don't know how you cope with it all.
I think the doc is being very unfair and regardless of her concerns about your uncle's confusion I would think that those responsible for his respite care will be well trained and able to reassure him. Try again and hammer home the fact that your elderly mother is also very ill and you are running on empty. You need a break and fast hun.
"Bouncing Bertha" is going to keep me giggling all night and thankfully there are people like her around who are big enough (pun intended) to let all such insults go straight over their heads.
Keep the credit card hidden and hope you enjoy your 40 winks.
I have answered your other blog but will repeat it here incase you haven't read it.
Bloody hell Mandy, you can't go on like this! You need to recharge your batteries and you need some timeout however impossible that sounds or else you're gonna end up as barking mad as your Uncle :).
The GP just isn't being fair, and it's not unusual. You have to ask the question is your Uncle a danger to himself and/or others and if the answer is yes then he needs help beyond a carer and gp input. Soooo get back to her and push for respite and an assessment of his needs. Waiting for an accident to happen just isn't fair on you, your mum or even the carer that may have to come into one. You shouldn't have all this responsiblility on your shoulders but thats community care forl you, be strong and go push.
My thoughts are with you and i really do empathise, i have been in the same situation and we as a family had to get tough. And as a nurse i know it's your right to have more support. Don't struggle alone.
Thanks so much for your input..I'm def gonna get on the case tomorow, I'm going to call the mac people and ask what they would do!
After yesterdays antics I drove home ( an hours journey) and tears just streamed down my face, really because my weekend had been spoilt, yes I know how bloody selfish of me but hubby had bee away for a few days with work and we'd planned to do all sorts of things, and I know he was cross because I had to drop everything again! So I was pretty upset yesterday and spent most of last night in a huff!! Stupid I know, but it's so hard trying to please everyone.
We went out today and had a lovely time for a few hours so hubby and I are back to normal, thank goodness.!
I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore, I'm just going to see if I can get something organised for uncle H as obviously something's got to be done..
Thanks so much for all your kind words, it's helped me no end.
Mandy.xxxx
I don't normally check out this thread or I would have commented before. I've always beleieved that caring is harder than being a patient which is in part due to the fact that the patient is treated and the carer expected to get on with it.
You are a superhuman woman! Having an hours journey to get to your family makes it very difficult for you to provide care and you must get more support. Good luck with that.
When looking after my mother (not cancer related) I was told by someone form social services "We don't do respite care". After that I pressed for more nursing care for my mother and she was visited 3 times a day to look after her needs. I was then able to look after her quality of life and we had many happy times together.
Jan is right your Uncle could be a danger to himself and others and that you can not go on like this what would happen if you became unable through illness or exhaustion to look after them both
Do push for respite or more input from services if you told them you had to step out of the caring role they would have to do something then and your Uncle should as Jan says have a full assessment of needs do not let anyone fob you off
