well this is just a bit of a mumble to myself i guess....
everyone keeps saying... when are you going back to work? well... i answer, when i feel ready.... some weeks i dont have the time to even think about work....
today ive been the dentist... 1st time in 2 years, as ive had no worries about my teeth, and well, because i had braces, and because i hated these braces, when i had them off, i never went back again..…
i have been thinking... ive not got many photos on here, of my battle with cancer, so i thought id put a few photos into a blog and see how it looks, as it will take forever uploading photos....
me and john before cancer :
me before i was diagnosed (with lumps) :
my biggest lump :
my scars from biopsies :
my 1st hickman line:
me with headshaved :
me with scarf on :
me with john with not much hair…
well... ive been trying to keep this to myself as much as i possibly could.. but i have spoken about it to a few of you... im going to be having someone to talk to, because of how ive been feeling lately.
only the thought really scares me, makes me feel like im bit loopy or something, the words in the referral letter makes me feel like im loosing the plot...
so today i rang up the "physical health psychology service…
well just a quick blog....
to let you all know im ok....
i think im sort of working out where im at now, sort of.. not quite, but nearly there, i feel a bit happier than i did a few days ago.
i went out with john at the weekend and went and brought me a big A3 pad, and i decided im going to make a sort of scrap book about everything, so i brought loads of glittery things, pretty pink things, purples, reds, blues, everything…
this is for me really, to look back on, to try and understand whats happened to me.
im not sure that it was a good idea, but then it might help me. ive just been looking through pictures of before i had cancer, pictures of while i had cancer, and now pictures after cancer.
i see now the hurt and pain in johns eyes of seeing me while i was poorly, and i could never see it then... i see how unhappy he looked and how…
