DO PEOPLE JUST NOT GET IT?????

6 minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Aug 2010

just thought id share with you all an arguement that ive just had with my cousin.... as it sort of goes with the last blog i did....because in my last blog i explained how people didnt understand, and how this site has been a great help..... but man she has reallllly wound me up!!!!!!!!!

why cant people even try to understand.... =(

19:08Amy

omg do u sit on facebook all day!!ur always on line lol

19:07Me

yeahh pretty much lol thats when im not out for lunch or at appoitnemnts

19:08Amy

u need to get out more lol u not goin bak to work?

not yet no, dnt feel ready

19:09Amy

ul feel better and wont be sat on here all the time lol dont u get bored?.

19:11Me

cuz i dont sit here all the time amz... most days and nerli every weekend im away, and if im on the other days thats cuz im on my way out or summut...

im havin counselling every two weeks, still suffer with breathlessness and everything else, still get tired easily

19:14Amy

awww but maybe ur still suffering because u need a change u know like a different scene everyday,start5 gettin ur life back do normal,u know wat i mean? u not goin bak to work then??!

19:15Me

yeah il be goin back to work when i feel mentally ready. when ive got more confidence,

i am doin all i can... and i wont be goin back to that job i want a new job but try tellin a new employer that u had cancer and that uve got depression and havin counselling, it just wont work

19:19Amy

do u not like that job then?theyl listen emma ur not the only 1 whos had cancer!!

its discrimination if they dnt!!i thought u were fine seen as u had ur party and goin away etc,

are u really depressed then?

19:20Me

dont think il go back to somewher that said il loose weight havin cancer...yep i am depressed...even if i am doin stuff.. and no i no im not the only one thats had cancer, but i will still get turned away

anyways, wot u doin with urself nowadays? wher u livin now? why didnt u come my party? not spoke to u in months?

Amy

i never came because we never speek so didnt see the point really. well my dad had cancer and hes worked all his life they didnt turn him away. why dnt u try college or u just want to be at home? im very well thanx, hows u and john?

well if thats how u wanna be amz then fine ok, if we dont speak why u askin all these questions,

ur not interested anyways, and il go back to work when im good and ready to go back to work,

im only 20... so thers plenty of time for me to go back to work

Amy

i was making coversation as we havnt spoke seein how u werre

because u never bothered to pop up and see me only once in the beginning..

u come online never say hello. say ud be here but u wernt... u even changed ur number and didnt say. n then u never came my party to even celebrate. and then u keep asking bout work, i dont want to sit at home, but i have no confidence to go somewher else at the minute, i told u im having counselling, and u ask me if im really depressed. yeahh i am...or i wudnt be goin counselling.. ok fair enough u wanna make convo but just feels like ur naggin at me bout work

Amy

Emma im not naggin u its reality. im not guna be a hypocrit why should i just come and see u because u have cancer?!! my dad had cancer and he went threw worse than you emma!! u had ur party at 5 weeks after u were cleared which is why i thought u were going back to work and movin on!!

amy!! CANCER IS NO JOKE !!!!! nor is it to compare who was sickest or illest!! u wudnt no wot i went thru!!! so just f**k right off!!!!!!!!!! cancer is a matter of life or death amy!! either way, me and ur dad faced dying!! so no, ther is no worse!!!!!

Amy

im not bloody comparing emma im basicly saying u never died u made threw it so get out there and start enjoying urself!!! dnt get soo workd up

maybe ur depressed because u read too much into things?

19:37Me

then why say ur dad went through worse than me

cancer is still cancer amy

doesnt matter wher u get it

how u get it its still shit u try bein in my shoes u sure wouldnt like it and no i dont read into anything

just dnt no who or how u dare to even say what uve said to me and im sayin no more amy i was fine b4 u started tlkin now uve wound me up

Amy

u type to fast woman!! (arguement finished there)

is it just me over reacting??? or was she just way out of line??? either way, its got me really mad... just shows dont it that

sorry its a rant just needed to get it out!!! =(

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hey hun

Its very obvious that she has no idea what you went through or you are still going through, I would have thought having her dad go through it she would be a bit more understanding of your situation. What your cousin needs to realise is no one is the same, each case is unique. In all honesty I really cant believe she would say any of that. She obviously doesn't understand depression either, just because you are depressed does not mean you cant have a party/ you stay in all the time and can not go out.

I know its hard hun but you cant let them wind you up, sod them if they wanna be like that then thats fine but there missing out on knowing a wonderful inspirational young lady with a heart of gold!!

See ya sunday

Tiggs Xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

We were talking just before you and she and I feel she has very little sympathy Em. As Bren says you can't chose your family. Don't bother speaking to her again. Try and keep smiling!!

Love Stacey xxxxx.

ps Enjoy your break
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Em - I said all I wanted to say last night on chat -your cousin is uncaring and has no first had experience - I hope she never gets that experience.

You are a brave, cheerful and caring person - go at your own pace - its still at least 10 times faster than mine !!

Remember your true friends will always be there for you - you don't need to call them - Take care

John xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Em,

Ditto to it all. You do WHAT you want, WHEN you feel ready or want to do it, and you have been through one of the biggest battles there is, and you are only 20. Its not as though any of us want other people to get cancer, but unless you have had it or lost someone and gone through that process with them, then they cannot understand.

You are not over-reacting, you have done wonderfully well. We on here are proud of you, and those by you in the real world who know you will be too.

I have had some odd reactions from people - one person physically shied away from me and put her arm around her daughter as if to shield the two of them from catching it!!! And that was someone I thought was a good friend. It is a hurtful process, finding out who does and doesn't understand.

Keep at it, at the pace YOU want!!!

Love,

ALi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hello Emma,

So sorry sweetheart about this situation with your cousin. It's bad enough when friends sometimes react this way, but as your cousin she should know better, but obviously not! I have to agree with Bren about choosing friends but unable to do the same with family.

It seems to me that Amy is jealous that you've survived and her Dad didn't? Also blatantly obvious that she is, as others have said, NO IDEA or what you've been through and still are and also NO IDEA how her not being in contact during your early dark times (or indeed at any time since you were diagnosed) has meant to you and frankly Emz, doesn't seem she really cares.

Actually, when I got over being really mad with her for upsetting you, I've decided I feel sorry for her. I'd hate for her to have cancer to find out how you felt and feel, but she does not seem to have made any effort at all to even try to put herself in your shoes and it's so sad that someone can be so self-centred. Having said that, I'm sure she thinks she's trying to do you a favour by trying to get you back to work and "normality" - but you, and all of us here know that's easier said than done.

As John said - take it at your own speed Emma, you'll get there in your own time. Good luck with the counselling. I've found it useful in the past, as you know from our chat. Hang in there and take care of yourself and try not to let Amy wind you up any more - your health's too important!

Love and many "cyber hugs", Rose x x x x ((((hugs)))) x x x x

P.S. If you need a chat - text me & I'll call you. x x x
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