DO PEOPLE JUST NOT GET IT?????

6 minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Aug 2010

just thought id share with you all an arguement that ive just had with my cousin.... as it sort of goes with the last blog i did....because in my last blog i explained how people didnt understand, and how this site has been a great help..... but man she has reallllly wound me up!!!!!!!!!

why cant people even try to understand.... =(

19:08Amy

omg do u sit on facebook all day!!ur always on line lol

19:07Me

yeahh pretty much lol thats when im not out for lunch or at appoitnemnts

19:08Amy

u need to get out more lol u not goin bak to work?

not yet no, dnt feel ready

19:09Amy

ul feel better and wont be sat on here all the time lol dont u get bored?.

19:11Me

cuz i dont sit here all the time amz... most days and nerli every weekend im away, and if im on the other days thats cuz im on my way out or summut...

im havin counselling every two weeks, still suffer with breathlessness and everything else, still get tired easily

19:14Amy

awww but maybe ur still suffering because u need a change u know like a different scene everyday,start5 gettin ur life back do normal,u know wat i mean? u not goin bak to work then??!

19:15Me

yeah il be goin back to work when i feel mentally ready. when ive got more confidence,

i am doin all i can... and i wont be goin back to that job i want a new job but try tellin a new employer that u had cancer and that uve got depression and havin counselling, it just wont work

19:19Amy

do u not like that job then?theyl listen emma ur not the only 1 whos had cancer!!

its discrimination if they dnt!!i thought u were fine seen as u had ur party and goin away etc,

are u really depressed then?

19:20Me

dont think il go back to somewher that said il loose weight havin cancer...yep i am depressed...even if i am doin stuff.. and no i no im not the only one thats had cancer, but i will still get turned away

anyways, wot u doin with urself nowadays? wher u livin now? why didnt u come my party? not spoke to u in months?

Amy

i never came because we never speek so didnt see the point really. well my dad had cancer and hes worked all his life they didnt turn him away. why dnt u try college or u just want to be at home? im very well thanx, hows u and john?

well if thats how u wanna be amz then fine ok, if we dont speak why u askin all these questions,

ur not interested anyways, and il go back to work when im good and ready to go back to work,

im only 20... so thers plenty of time for me to go back to work

Amy

i was making coversation as we havnt spoke seein how u werre

because u never bothered to pop up and see me only once in the beginning..

u come online never say hello. say ud be here but u wernt... u even changed ur number and didnt say. n then u never came my party to even celebrate. and then u keep asking bout work, i dont want to sit at home, but i have no confidence to go somewher else at the minute, i told u im having counselling, and u ask me if im really depressed. yeahh i am...or i wudnt be goin counselling.. ok fair enough u wanna make convo but just feels like ur naggin at me bout work

Amy

Emma im not naggin u its reality. im not guna be a hypocrit why should i just come and see u because u have cancer?!! my dad had cancer and he went threw worse than you emma!! u had ur party at 5 weeks after u were cleared which is why i thought u were going back to work and movin on!!

amy!! CANCER IS NO JOKE !!!!! nor is it to compare who was sickest or illest!! u wudnt no wot i went thru!!! so just f**k right off!!!!!!!!!! cancer is a matter of life or death amy!! either way, me and ur dad faced dying!! so no, ther is no worse!!!!!

Amy

im not bloody comparing emma im basicly saying u never died u made threw it so get out there and start enjoying urself!!! dnt get soo workd up

maybe ur depressed because u read too much into things?

19:37Me

then why say ur dad went through worse than me

cancer is still cancer amy

doesnt matter wher u get it

how u get it its still shit u try bein in my shoes u sure wouldnt like it and no i dont read into anything

just dnt no who or how u dare to even say what uve said to me and im sayin no more amy i was fine b4 u started tlkin now uve wound me up

Amy

u type to fast woman!! (arguement finished there)

is it just me over reacting??? or was she just way out of line??? either way, its got me really mad... just shows dont it that

sorry its a rant just needed to get it out!!! =(

FormerMember over 14 years ago

I know exactly what you mean, and NO, you are not over reacting. Until anybody has been through this, they have no right to preach to you what you should or shouldn't do or feel like. I feel as though this is just as straining mentally as physically, if not more so, so don't feel like you should be pressurised into feeling you are not doing your best at all times. All I can say that this is one time in our lives when we only need positive people around us, who are willing to offer support whatever the circumstances, so don't feel you have to do anything at all that you are not ready for! I am only at the start of this journey, and know it will be a long time until I begin to feel anything like my 'normal' self again, so you just take your time and get strong at your own pace. Thinking of you, take care hun, Lisa x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Ems, we haven't spoken before but I have suffered depression since losing my mum july 2009 from cancer, a most horrendous time, and people think well its over a year so you must be ok now. I have had 3 lots of time of work and holding onto my job now by the skin of my teeth. Your cousin has just no idea has she, just because you are trying to cope with life with cancer and occasionally go out or do something nice then you are ok and she can't see that you are just trying to get through each day. She is insensitive and doesn't really see how it is. You are right to feel wound up, i would in your position. I have a daughter also called Emma, aged 26 and know how heartbroken i would be. Denise. xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

No. Doesn't seem to me like you are over reacting. Yes. She was out of line. Her messages to you were winding me up just reading them here! Hang on in there. Hopefully in future you will find being on line supportive like on this site and no more chat with insensitive relatives. Take care and look after yourself. Hugs. Eleanor x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

You can't pick your family Emm, but you can pick your friends.

Bren xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Your cousin is typical of lots of people who stay away from people with cancer then when it is all over try to weedle their way back into their life with a sigh of relief that it is over and that they got away with not supporting you.

She has no right to critisize you when she knows nothing about what you have been through.

I have experienced people in my family behaving as if nothing has happened and expect me just forget the past 18 months and to carry on from where I left off.

It is very hard to get back on your feet and to carry on with your life, especially for you as you are so very young.

I hope your counselling helps you, I am waiting to have some myself.

Good Luck Emma and go easy on yourself. ignore stupid idiots like your cousin who don't know a damn thing.

Lots of Love Julie X
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