DO PEOPLE JUST NOT GET IT?????

6 minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Aug 2010

just thought id share with you all an arguement that ive just had with my cousin.... as it sort of goes with the last blog i did....because in my last blog i explained how people didnt understand, and how this site has been a great help..... but man she has reallllly wound me up!!!!!!!!!

why cant people even try to understand.... =(

19:08Amy

omg do u sit on facebook all day!!ur always on line lol

19:07Me

yeahh pretty much lol thats when im not out for lunch or at appoitnemnts

19:08Amy

u need to get out more lol u not goin bak to work?

not yet no, dnt feel ready

19:09Amy

ul feel better and wont be sat on here all the time lol dont u get bored?.

19:11Me

cuz i dont sit here all the time amz... most days and nerli every weekend im away, and if im on the other days thats cuz im on my way out or summut...

im havin counselling every two weeks, still suffer with breathlessness and everything else, still get tired easily

19:14Amy

awww but maybe ur still suffering because u need a change u know like a different scene everyday,start5 gettin ur life back do normal,u know wat i mean? u not goin bak to work then??!

19:15Me

yeah il be goin back to work when i feel mentally ready. when ive got more confidence,

i am doin all i can... and i wont be goin back to that job i want a new job but try tellin a new employer that u had cancer and that uve got depression and havin counselling, it just wont work

19:19Amy

do u not like that job then?theyl listen emma ur not the only 1 whos had cancer!!

its discrimination if they dnt!!i thought u were fine seen as u had ur party and goin away etc,

are u really depressed then?

19:20Me

dont think il go back to somewher that said il loose weight havin cancer...yep i am depressed...even if i am doin stuff.. and no i no im not the only one thats had cancer, but i will still get turned away

anyways, wot u doin with urself nowadays? wher u livin now? why didnt u come my party? not spoke to u in months?

Amy

i never came because we never speek so didnt see the point really. well my dad had cancer and hes worked all his life they didnt turn him away. why dnt u try college or u just want to be at home? im very well thanx, hows u and john?

well if thats how u wanna be amz then fine ok, if we dont speak why u askin all these questions,

ur not interested anyways, and il go back to work when im good and ready to go back to work,

im only 20... so thers plenty of time for me to go back to work

Amy

i was making coversation as we havnt spoke seein how u werre

because u never bothered to pop up and see me only once in the beginning..

u come online never say hello. say ud be here but u wernt... u even changed ur number and didnt say. n then u never came my party to even celebrate. and then u keep asking bout work, i dont want to sit at home, but i have no confidence to go somewher else at the minute, i told u im having counselling, and u ask me if im really depressed. yeahh i am...or i wudnt be goin counselling.. ok fair enough u wanna make convo but just feels like ur naggin at me bout work

Amy

Emma im not naggin u its reality. im not guna be a hypocrit why should i just come and see u because u have cancer?!! my dad had cancer and he went threw worse than you emma!! u had ur party at 5 weeks after u were cleared which is why i thought u were going back to work and movin on!!

amy!! CANCER IS NO JOKE !!!!! nor is it to compare who was sickest or illest!! u wudnt no wot i went thru!!! so just f**k right off!!!!!!!!!! cancer is a matter of life or death amy!! either way, me and ur dad faced dying!! so no, ther is no worse!!!!!

Amy

im not bloody comparing emma im basicly saying u never died u made threw it so get out there and start enjoying urself!!! dnt get soo workd up

maybe ur depressed because u read too much into things?

19:37Me

then why say ur dad went through worse than me

cancer is still cancer amy

doesnt matter wher u get it

how u get it its still shit u try bein in my shoes u sure wouldnt like it and no i dont read into anything

just dnt no who or how u dare to even say what uve said to me and im sayin no more amy i was fine b4 u started tlkin now uve wound me up

Amy

u type to fast woman!! (arguement finished there)

is it just me over reacting??? or was she just way out of line??? either way, its got me really mad... just shows dont it that

sorry its a rant just needed to get it out!!! =(

FormerMember over 14 years ago

You would think she would have had a better understanding with her dad having cancer ,each one of us here had a different way of dealing with this bugger of a disease but I'm sure the one thing we all have in common is your really do find out who your real friends are,two of my friends shaved their head in support for me.but after 4 months i still haven't had as much as a phone call for my partners brother or his wife and to be honest right now i don't care if i ever do . FRIENDS ARE THE FAMILY WE WOULD PICK FOR OURSELEVES

must love and hugs to youxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Em, no people just dont get it. Only people with cancer get it. This is the worst time when people see that the chemo is over and so we should be fine and get on with things when it just doesnt happen like that. They just expect us to be back to normal and forget about it, buts its life changeing forever. It makes me mad when people say 'so and so had what you had and they are fine now'. No they friggin aint and they aint me anyway!!!!!!

Lots of Love Kaz x

I contacted my breast care nurse today for a referel to the local Mac centre to see if they can help me sort my head out. Thanks for your help and F--K everyone else.
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi, It seems like every else has said it all and they are so right. Hang in there and find yourself people who are supportive. You don't need to be around someone so unhelpful and uncaring. Take your time to find whatever you need. Ruth x
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Em

I'd be mad too - like you say some people really don't get it and like to compare cancers and how sick you are. I had people telling me how 'lucky' I was to have breast cancer - can't say I feel very lucky!

Also now I've had the last dose of chemo (surgery and radio still to come) that i should be doing cartwheels and back to normal.

You just take all the time you need girl, you deserve it and we're all behind you

Love

Elicia xxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Emma, I had a similar conversation with my cousin also. I hadn't long finished treatment and we met up at a family party. She said to me, "So what are you doing with yourself?" I replied, "Nothing much, I've been diagnosed with M.E. and am really tired and trying to get over the effects of treatment". She said, "Well what have you done with your life, I thought once you were over cancer you would have done something, but it seems to me you've done nothing at all". I told her that I had done the same with my life as she had done with hers. Lived every day the best I could. went on holiday, had nights out when I could etc. She then said again, "Yes, but I thought you would have DONE something since you no longer have cancer". I had to stop speaking to her before I lost my temper completley. All this coming from someone whose three sons are never out of jail and are banned from every pub in their area along with their dad.

My advice would be to ignore this person from now. She obviously has no understanding of what you have gone through, which is strange considering her dad had cancer also. If she wants to make contact with you she will, but you concentrate on getting 100% well and leave her to her own devices. I know how angersome it is, but anger is a negative emotion and you don't need that right now.

Take care hun. Christine xx
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