First Post

Hi Lim

There are no words that I can say that can take any of what you are feeling away, but I will say cherish every moment you have with your Mum and don't ever feel guilty about wanting your life back. Your Mum knows you well and loves you and will understand that sometimes you have to be selfish. Take each day as it comes, enjoy every moment and try to laugh at something every time you are together.

I'm sending you a massive hug and lots of love. Try to keep smiling and try to keep your mum smiling too :) xxx

it all sounds natural to me... I have cancer and my mum died of it, so I sort of get it from both angles...

You can spend every minute of time with your mum but it doesn't actually do either of you any good. You need some time to yourself too and to keep your other life going and it is exhausting emotionally looking after your mum and caring so you need some time to yourself. 

 I would hate it if my partner or son felt gulity for being with their friends or wanting a break. It was actually nice for me to have a bit to myself too sometimes when I was having treatment...

It is emotionally very hard and I think you will find support here. there are lots of carers and daughters of mums on here going through the same thing as you and it does help to write and to get out those feelings you can't share with your family..

as to the taste: pineapple- fresh chunks were great for me when my taste went. I used to get my partner to get me ready made tubs of fruit salad or pineapple ready chopped that i could keep in the fridge and just have the odd chunk every now and then when I felt like it. Nothing else really did it taste wise for me.

I wish you well and have a look at the carers and relatives type groups...

Little My x

ps I just realised that for some reason I assumed you were a woman.. if you are not.. change daughter to son!

Hi Lim, trust me you will be glad you joined, even though you are not the person with cancer you still go through the wringer seeing those you love in pain and then you feel helpless because you can't help them by taking the pain away. The initial shock of the diagnosis is one hurdle and there will be plenty more to jump I'm sure. You are not on your own when you feel gulity, I do it most days it's just as you said "you want your old life back" I do too, but the way I have to look at this time now is this is another new chapter in our life. Keep strong, keep looking at the site you WILL find some answers to your questions it may not be the answers you want to hear but at least you will know what to expect.

Earth Angel.xxx

Hi Lim,Welcome to the site no one wants to join, but here you will find help and support better than anywhere else on the internet.

I know exactly how you feel having nursed my wife and it is emotionally draining. There is no need to feel guilty about having time out because this will help you recharge your batteries so that you will have a better time when you are with Mum.

There are many people on here who are in the same boat as you and they will give you advice and support to enable you to do the best for Mum.

Good luck on this journey and may you make many happy memories,

Big Hugs,

Colin xxx

Hi Lim. Welcome to the site. I know how you are feeling and also about the the "no one else gets it feeling" too - huge huge hugs. My mum had breast cancer (she died just over 2 years ago) and I wish I had come on here at that time - there are so many supportive people here who do understand, who do "get it" and who can listen, advise and if necessary let you blow off some steam. My mum found that strong smoked bacon or the sharpest cheddar possible could *just about* register for taste.

Try and stay strong and enjoy the time you have with your mum. Never feel guilty about making time for yourself - I can't stress that enough, it helps you get through this dreadful time.

Huge hugs

LouB