Went in to fill in forms, and got Biopsy results...

Hi Ems, oh for fuck sake, what a fucking piss take that is.  Bloody awful, you'll take time to get your head round a misdiagnosis as we all would.  We all arm ourselves with information and prepare mentally our path of treatment and outcomes.  So to have it changed months on is simply UNACCEPTABLE.

you need answers and ofcourse lots of questions first.  Yes indeed take a friend with a pen and pad.  Maybe LM and that door.  Oh you chewed it to pieces.  Well you'll have to get another of Macland crew.  Good luck with it all and an onwards and upwards in a different path than you thought you were on.

Oh and teenagers will be teenagers eh, no worries there at all.

And mum knows no difference so no worries there either.

Lots of love and hugs and spoons

Take care

Jan xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Good luck this week Ems. I went from lots of tests and atrial defibrilatioin to viral pericarditis to HL over a year....and after the op and several months of ABVD I used to cry under the duvet or in the bath because I thought what if they have it wrong again....bugger, they had it right, but I just kept relapsing as soon as they stopped giving me chemo! Whichever way we are buggered!

How is Deri? Did her performance go ok on Friday?

Writing those questions down is an excellent idea, but don't attach too much importance to % chance of this that and t'other, 'cos cancer likes a bloody good laugh, and will do its own thing. By rights I shouldn't be here, but others that you thought would survive didn't. Just take each day at a time, and ask questions if you need to know something.

Big hugs xxxxxxx

Jan - thank you hun! I have some questions, I have  note pad, and I have my steely gaze, so they won't get away don't you worry!

The teen is safe, my mother is a loon and quizzing me as to why they're doing this extra bag of antibodies. For now, it's not the time for me to share this info, as she can't be strong and will flap and worry and maybe want to go and shout at the doctor and I need to process it all first before having to deal with her - I may need to be as firm with her as when I was originally diagnosed and tell her that this is MY project and everyone else has to behave! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lou - thanks for the hugs too. I know, cancer is cancer, as LM said, and I said before, it does what it wants and I know I can kick its arse but it feels the battle is pitched a little differently now!

Deri's show was last night and they were lovely! Brought a tear to my eye :)

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Ems,

Just sneaking in with a quick note to say good luck tomorrow.

Ahh Mums, you can't live with them but you certainly can't do without them!

Oh what a lovely support Deri has been, although I don't suppose she realises that. Well done Deri, keep it up!

You start worrying about children in their teens and you still worry about them when they are in their 40's.

Supposed to be writing my talk so must dash before LM sees me.

Love and cwtches,

Odin xxxxxxx

PS If I'd signed off as Colin perhaps she wouldn't know it was me? O.

PPS. Ducks as naughty step flies over head.