Travels & Trollbeads Versus Transplants and Tw*ts

5 minute read time.

Hello my lovelies! Nope, no hangovers to report I'm afraid! ;)

Had an impromptu lunch date with the lovely Kerry last week, which was lovely coz she's very cwtchy and can always make me laugh too :)
Pam was over Fri for dinner - we are willing Glanusk to get her that little cottage!! She is another rather fab person and to be closer would be rather nice plus useful for us both too as our 14 year olds are friends :)) I talked about this blog and how it could be a different thing (secret so far haha) and Pam read an entr and it made her sad coz I'd been sad and then she was worried about me and I said, it's just how it is.

So, Saturday found me in Alex's car being swept off to Buckinghamshire for Vicky's birthday bash which is also an annual gathering for us girls who lived in London together all those years ago ;) I sent a little 'hello' across the border to Oxfordshire to Hils as we zoomed along (and Alex CAN zoom!!)
Had a great evening and caught up on the gossip and news, and then my friends made me a bit emotional as they gave ME gifts - saying the felt like crap friends because they lived so far away!! I had lilies and stuff from Lush, and a trollbead! (thank you Michele!!!) Fab food and lots of bubbly and a good ol' laugh, and staggered off to our beds at about 3am which was a bit early for us, so we must we getting old ;)
I took some duck eggs so breakfast was duck eggs, smoked salmon and bagels and lashings of tea!!

Rescued my mum from Deri and the dog and then headed back home - picked up Broni who hd bleached and dyed her hair the brightest red!! Just like mine when I was on my 20's ;) Of course school wouldn't like it...
Monday, 9a, in car en route to Heath hossie for PET scan. Phone call. Broni in isolation for hair thats too bright. WTF? Could I please do something about it? Yeh I said, maybe if I have time after my scan I'll buy some dye. So, I did, still red though, but darker, not flourescent ;)

Waited an hour and a half for radioactive injection to do its stuff. When the nurses come in to administer it, they leave the syringe in its metal tin on a trolley outside your room whilst they get a cannula in your arm. Then 1 nurse swings the trolley in, they plunge it in and then get the syringe back in its tin pronto then dash out of the room, unable to get away from you quick enough hahaha! I read ''For Love of Fat Men'', then played on phone, then read again, then dropped phone as dozed off! May have been the 3 cocodomols I took for back pain ..?
Anyhoo, eventually they came to get me - I took in Deri's small soft fleece blankey to fold and put under my lower back - the small of my back arches quite deeply if that makes sense and last time it hurt, as I have ongoing back pain etc. So, got comfy, got my arms velcro-ed to my side, as you MUST remain perfectly still (don't forget to mention you're claustrophobic if you have one of these offered to you!), and then in we went, into the giant fat polo that is the PET scanner - part polo, part tunnel, but a short fat one. Anyway, as I had looked at it all last time, I thought I's just close my eyes and do some nice deep breathing as I used to do in yoga all those moons ago... woke myself up snoring ....... I hope that provided them with a giggle on the other side of the glass as there is a 2 way microphone so you can call them or them give you directions etc :)))

Today was reflexology day at Usk House, and a coffee later with Kerry. what a lovely blissful foot rub that was!! And then Kerry said, actually, it's lunch at hers.......nomnomnom, beans and cheese on toast! Perfect comfort food, because I have been through the mill in regard to my emotions and thoughts in the last day or two!

Firstly, because I have gotten myself into a huge flap about having the transplant! I KNOW that it will be fine and I will be doing my kids a favour in the long run etc etc, by being here! BUT - I am SOOOOOOO tired now. I feel I need boosting up from all sorts of areas in order to feel ok enough to start it! Last night I was a bit of a tizz, trying to work out if there was an alternative, and not wanting it done at all!!!

Then Crap Dad called this morning. Wondered why I hadn't been in touch. Hmm. Pot. Kettle. Black. Anyhoo. Asked what was the next thing etc. I said about the transplant and the possible 3 week stay and how my mum couldn't do it for 3 weeks as not well enough and how I'd need to call on everyone to help out so I could make a rota.

Know what he said? ''Hmmm, well, we're all the way over here (WestonSuperMare) and I can't get over unless Marilyn's driving, sorry". In his next breath he told me how my stepmum (Marilyn) has had her money through from her crash last year, and she's been so stressed over her two daughters difficulties with a) pregnancy and b) miscarriage, and her own scare with lump in breast that is clear now, (NB - no mention of being stressed about me or my family) that they'd treat themselves to a week in the Maldives. Then, as they live in a big caravan (renting out their own perfectly fine house??) and have to be off site one month a year, they will come back and rent a cottage for 3 weeks, down the road from the site.
Oh really? Not just down the road from me, to see if my kids may need some support.
Not a holiday in Cornwall and then an offer to give their grandchildren some funds for treats as they've had such a hard time so far?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, silly me. He lives up to his name of crap dad eh?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Ah well, his loss.

Tomorrow - Wednesday - Rituximab day. Must remember to take a nice packed lunch so don't have to suffer the perils of hossie sandwiches ;)

I had a lovely thing said to me today, which is another reason I want to do the secret thing with my diary... "i'm gonna learn from you the way you turn what could be negatives (some are lets be honest) into more positive situational thinking."
Wow!!!!

It's Imbolc too ya know ........xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Ems,

    So cd is back or is he! What on earth did he want, he obviously has no idea what is happening or he would want to support his daughters.

    Never mind, you have some lovely friends and family for support and you don't neeed someone whoo is not committed (mind you perhaps he should be committed) lol

    And you have us here for moral support to send love and cwtches your way, that we hope willsmooth your path.

    Good luck with the retuxedo, hope you don't feel too rotten after it and you can always talk to LM now she has a new iphone (jealous jealous jealous)

    Everything is crossed for the transplant and hopefully you will soon be finished with treatments and be able to claim your family life back.

    Cwtches Krams and hogs,

    Odin xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Good luck tomorrow with Rituximab x x

  • Hi Ems

    what an eventful time you have been having and isn't great to have such special and wonderful friends.

    My friend S once said to me the most precious gift you can give someone is your time don't waste it on those who are not worthy of it.

    Guess you can see were I am going with that one.

    You know in the normal run of things If you were not related or connected with certain people you may meet them and say don't like them and thank goodness I don't have to see them again true saying you can choose your friends but your stuck with the relatives.

    This having cancer business certainly lets you know who are the people who really are there and care about you and it looks like you are surrounded by a lot of people who do care as for the rest

    well I know it hurts more when you feel they are leaving your children out but they will not miss out as they have you and your love is worth a hell of a lot more than anything they have or could offer

    School oh what can I say well in my day and me being a little bit of a rebel hence spending a lot of time on naughty step found that school didn't cater for individualism one had to be exactly like everyone else a kind of clone which I didn't get still don't. And why does it matter what colour your hair is it does not effect your ability to learn and when she goes off to college in a year or two she can have any colour she wants still rules are rules

    Very best of luck with all that is coming up 

    Big Hugs 

    Cruton xxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi there my lovely Ems,

    Crap dad only interested in boasting about how much money he is spending, and perhaps its as well that he is not spending time with your lovely girls as just think of the crap that he would be putting on them, when they need love and hugs.

    I have a crap sister (1 crap sibling from 7 is not bad) who told my parents that she didn't want to know about my being ill as she had her own problems. My mum got quite upset when I said that she did not need to know any more about ops etc, and if the worst happened she was not to be told until after my funeral, as she's a drama queen and would have made a mockery of everything. My other sister also had a similar conversation with crap sis when mum was taken ill.

    Wonder if Broni would have had same reaction if she'd shaved her head in support of you? How is hair loss by the way? Mine had started to grow back before the stem cell transplant, but one morning I woke up to find that I had a pillow made of fur!

    Oh, you were allowed to read whilst waiting for the radioactive stuff to go round your body! I had my book taken from me, but I did zone out for the hour before the scan. It was lovely not to feel guilty about doing nothing.

    Enjoy the time you have now up to your transplant. Balance your activities with plenty of rest, and don't worry about being tired, or not doing things. Concentrate on the things you can do (Be there to read stories to Deri, listen to the girls' problems, chat to your mum, and perhaps talk through ways that you can make the coming weeks easier on everyone) and plan your recuperation holiday with the girls......doesn't have to be the Maldives, it can be home with some extra special activities, or perhaps a good friend would be willing for you to visit with the girls for a long weekend.....or perhaps nobody would notice if you took over Little My's hut. Hahaha!

    Big hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxx