I really do not know what to do with myself, im so bloody miserable ! and its just not me (despite my last few blogs),, i honestly feel worse than when ju first died, i dont know if i was in shock or if it was just relief that he was at peace at last (that sounds terrible but hope fully you know what i mean ) or maybe im just exausted, still not sleeping properly , im pissed of with the world, ive never felt angry so…
well ive had an awful weekend , i had my first *good day * on friday ,i went out with friends for the day and had a really nice time , one even commented on how nice it was to see me smiling, but ever since ive been feeling so low and the tears .well its never ending ,i feel like i did the first day ju died , so lost and lonely ,i keep remembering those last two days again, i just want to curl up in a ball and cry which…
well i started today knowing it would be very sad, but also happy , for those of you that dont know ju managed a boys footy , he started at under 8 S, they are all now 12, same boys you move up with them, i was also involved too, anyway a few days before ju died they only went and won the league , unbelievable , well their was not a dry eye anywhere, on the pitch ,all kids ,parents coaches stand in manager, aand here…
Where do i start, ive wanted to blog for a while but didnt know what to say, well i think its the only way ill be able to explain how im feeling, and no one else understands except you lovely people in macland,
I will start by saying , i may say im ok when asked ,but of course im not , what a bloody stupid question ! i personally think im doing really well considering ,so does my mac counsellor, some days are harder…
well i started yesterday feeling very sick, i thought it was going to be a disaster, when i put my trousers on they drowned me, i didnt realise id lost so much weight, my mother and sister in law arrived 5 mins before the car and hardly said 2 words to me, makes a change, so me and kids just looked out for each other, i could not believe it their was no room for anyone else the chapel was packed, and the service was everything…
