Why am i so sad ?

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

19 Dec 2010

Well its official im a miserable cow at the moment , i know i have good reason but i hate feeling like this and thought blogging might help ,

I was expecting it but i got a stroppy phonecall from a family member last night asking why i hadnt put ju,s name in a xmas card (we have had this before ,they want me to pretend to someone that ju is still with us ) well im sorry i cant do it , it just breaks my heart ,i would do anything to have him back as i told them but once again they just wont understand ,if honest i did get very upset but they werent bothered , i also have got nasty virus so was feeling sorry for myself anyway ,i also havent been sleeping well again , im back to waking up at 4 am every morning ,and thats all without christmas,

I was also speaking to my sons favourite grandad yesterday and apparantly when he asked him what he wanted for christmas his answer was his daddy back :( well you can imagine how much that hurt , and apparantly he wont show me how much he misses him as he needs to look after me ,

I know how lucky i am ,i have 3 beautiful incredibly strong children, amazing friends , bit i feel so incredibly lonely and sad at the moment even in a room full of people ,i havent felt this sad or tearful for a long time , i nearly picked up the phone and told a friend last night but i couldnt do it ,they have enough to deal with without me crying on their shoulder ,

I just wish christmas was over and done with but then got to face the new year , I just hope this pain eases soon as this isnt me, i used to love christmas but i just want to hibernate and come out when its all over,

Ok moan over, i would like to wish you all a happy christmas and lots of love and hugs xxxxx

in memory of a very special husband and dad , we miss you xxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAzEhjooP3s

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Jenni,

xmas is a sad time for you, It won't be easy trying to be cheerful for your children, but I'm sure you will try your best, apart from that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks,

You must do what is right for you.

Be kind to yourself,remember there are people here who know how you feel and will be there for you whenever you need some love and understanding

love Sandra
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

hi jenni were to start first i truly believe you are a strong person and shown amazing strength to many who needed it even though lifes been tough for you, so stand up look in that mirror and know your man is so proud of the person you are. christmas is just another obstacle you have to cross but you will and then you can smile and hug them amazing kids of yours. how do i know all this because i am watching some1 that cant even put up his tree struggling to leave his bedroom but he will get there i wish could turn back time make it all good but thats not reality so i wish you and your family a very merry christmas and an even better new year 2011 bring it on.
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi, of course you feel as you do, its normal and especially with the wretched virus dragging you down. As already said, be kind to yourself, cry when you want to but take care of yourself. Grief pulls down our defences and i have started taking vitamins ( cant do any harm) and Kalms (harmless too) to help me get some sleep and they work for me. This is so hard for us but we have each other who understand and we can survive for our families and as a tribute to our loved ones and others who are fighting to survive. You are a strong lady with a loving family, hang in there. I send you my love and hugs , leisha xxx ((((((((((((((((((((((((((h)))))))))))))))))))
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Everyone has already said it, it's just the worst time of year, and what selfish person wants you to put ju's name on the card? It's just plain stupid! Hope you get through it ok

((((((((((hugs)))))))))

LIZ xxxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

(((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))) from me too Jenni
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