Why am i so sad ?

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

19 Dec 2010

Well its official im a miserable cow at the moment , i know i have good reason but i hate feeling like this and thought blogging might help ,

I was expecting it but i got a stroppy phonecall from a family member last night asking why i hadnt put ju,s name in a xmas card (we have had this before ,they want me to pretend to someone that ju is still with us ) well im sorry i cant do it , it just breaks my heart ,i would do anything to have him back as i told them but once again they just wont understand ,if honest i did get very upset but they werent bothered , i also have got nasty virus so was feeling sorry for myself anyway ,i also havent been sleeping well again , im back to waking up at 4 am every morning ,and thats all without christmas,

I was also speaking to my sons favourite grandad yesterday and apparantly when he asked him what he wanted for christmas his answer was his daddy back :( well you can imagine how much that hurt , and apparantly he wont show me how much he misses him as he needs to look after me ,

I know how lucky i am ,i have 3 beautiful incredibly strong children, amazing friends , bit i feel so incredibly lonely and sad at the moment even in a room full of people ,i havent felt this sad or tearful for a long time , i nearly picked up the phone and told a friend last night but i couldnt do it ,they have enough to deal with without me crying on their shoulder ,

I just wish christmas was over and done with but then got to face the new year , I just hope this pain eases soon as this isnt me, i used to love christmas but i just want to hibernate and come out when its all over,

Ok moan over, i would like to wish you all a happy christmas and lots of love and hugs xxxxx

in memory of a very special husband and dad , we miss you xxx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAzEhjooP3s

FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hugs Jenni, its not a moan - its telling your friends, who care, how you really feel, so much better than fobbing us off by saying you are fine !!

Love and Hugs from just one of your Friends - you have so many.

xx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Jen. Sending you lots of love and ((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))) Caroline XX
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Jenni. Ive not been on here for ages, so good to see you are still posting.

Yes, I know exactly how you are feeling. You are not alone (as you once posted to me) as we are all here and thinking of you.

I cant believe you are expected to put Ju's name in your xmas cards! What are they thinking!!?? It is hard enough as it is without having these silly disputes happening as well!

I keep thinking back to last year when John was still with us. It's really hard to think its just me and the girls now. I'm not looking forward to xmas morning. I cant even think about it - but it has to be done. We have the tree up and presents wrapped - but it feels abit like a dream. Feeling so lonely and just wanting John back, laughing with us and cuddles on the sofa.

Take care Jenni - best wishes to you and the kids. You will get through it for them, but i will raise a glass to your Ju as well as John on xmas day.

Lots of love Jo xxxxxx
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Hi Jen

John has got it so right again we are here for you just as you have been for so many of us here even when you have been down you have still had a cheery word for other

hope you get over you virus soon .

much love and hugs to you and your family xxx jackie
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

hi jenni

It is a very difficult time of year. But as everyone else has said you are not alone. Just remember to be kind to yourself. Your kids are an asset to you they will keep you going through this difficult time. They say the firsts are the hardest. No kids to pretend for here so just not celebrateing here don't know if thats a good or a bad thing.

But keep going it will be over in a week.

Becky
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