so sad,,,,

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

4 Feb 2010

I always feel like im moaning on here, but i think we just having a really bad time at the moment , another really bad night ,we slept on sofa together till about 11.30, then went to bed but hubby is waking up every hour which i knew so will try sleeping tabs tonight, but what i didnt know is whats going round in his head which i could have guessed, but is fear , he admitted it to our macmillan nurse today,while i was their, he also said he had no quality of life which i also knew but was so hard hearing it , i dont know how i kept it together,anyway all meds doubled again , this is happening almost twice weekly now, but it never seems to help for long, also may be oxygen needed but will see gp tommorow, its so hard seeing hubby so depressed , i am normally so positive but when macmillan nurse left i just went upstairs and cried and cried, i couldnt stop , ive now given myself a headache and feel awful , and hubby now peacefully sleeping but he could tell id been crying, he just gave me a funny look and smiled ,well that started me off again , so i left to pick kids up , so i now have to try and pull myself together for the next time , i just want him to be comfortable , thats not too much to ask , and to all you ladies on here that have been supporting me, thankyou , i couldnt get through this without you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Jenni,

I just know that all this crap is harder for the carer. Don't be afraid to show your emotions, you have them because you love him and he will know that even if he can't say it out loud at the moment.

Hold his hand when you can, be there for him when you can and remember that we are there with you for the whole journey.

Sending love and hugs

Andrew xxx
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

hey thankyou all of you, i think a slightly better day, but hubby still asleep so you never know, pain relief is obvoiusly doing some good, as for me not much sleep but feeling a lot stronger today , a lot of that is thanx to all of you, to know you care and listen really helps, ive also written a very long letter to the school outlining all concerns about my two youngest children ,so hopefully they will help , love and hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxx
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Dear Jenni, I'm sorry but I was a day late reading your blog. I just wanted tell you how brave you are and I know Ju loves you to bits and you do him. God bless you both,

Love and hugs to the whole family x
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Totally know how you feel as now, unfortunately, in the same situation myself. I just keep telling myself, that although i can't save him, I will do everything i can to make his final days as peaceful as possible, and be at his side until the end. After that, I don't know what I will do, but I will cross that bridge when i come to it.

Thinking of you Jenni, and it helps to know that others are going through the same and we will get through it together.

Jo x
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