feeling very sad today ,

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

30 Nov 2010

I have been dreading christmas but with the help and support from a very good friend and kids bugging me i have been getting on with it ,shoppings all done ,wrappings nearly all done , tree ordered ,decs bought i couldnt face using the old ones too many memories , all was going ok till today ,when i sat down to write christmas cards ive had to stop for a break as is just so painful and i cant stop crying and i havent felt so sad for a long time , i know this is prob *normal * and its not just not putting julians name in the cards i want to thank people for their love and support but it hurts so much , i keep thinking back to how special christmas was last year but was also very very sad for us all ,

We are all coping really well and are happy again and life does go on , but somedays it suprises me how painful this still is , and how much i so need a hug from the one person that cant give it to me ,

sorry if ive upset anyone with this blog but even i have down days sometimes , love and hugs xxx

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hello Jenni

So sorry you are having a sad day. Hope you are feeling a little better by now, thinking of you Jenni remember you were my first teacher in chat? Take care love and sending lots of hugggggssss

elgee
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Oh Jenni, so sorry you're having a bad day. But that's OK, and not really surprising - and I'm sure everyone in Mac land understands. I (and I'm sure all the other people you've supported in the past) send you love and support. Take care of yourself and your lovely family, Val XXX
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Jen. So sorry you're having a sad day. I've just been writing Christmas cards too and you're right it's so tough. You are entitled to sad days so don't beat yourself up just let it out.

You have done brilliantly Jen. You're an amazing mum and Ju would want you and the kids to have as good a Christmas as possible. Take care of yourself. God Bless. Caroline XX
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

jen, you are doing really well, remember, its these firsts that keep popping up, you are very strong, and you can get through them, because you have your lovely kids to help you through it, great friends and little neve.... treasure those memories, and look forwards to making new memories this year...

sending you lots of (((big hugs))) thinking of you

xxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Jenni - not sure why you feel you need to say sorry to your friends for sharing your emotions!

It is times like anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas that will hurt the most - its the times we think about our loved ones and we are allowed to think about the major parts of our lives that have changed, sometimes they are happy memories but when we loose someone it really can be heart breaking.

As Emma says - every first is hard, but each is a step forward and you have made so many - maybe when you feel a little better you pour a nice large glass of wine, relax and write Julian a letter telling him all the positive things you have achieved by still having his strength of spirit to lead and guide you.

I know you still feel him watching over you and the children, he is still part of yours and their life - he always will be - and so alive in your heart.

If you really concentrate I believe you can see his smile telliing you he is so proud of you.

Love and Hugs Jenni

John xx
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