I have been dreading christmas but with the help and support from a very good friend and kids bugging me i have been getting on with it ,shoppings all done ,wrappings nearly all done , tree ordered ,decs bought i couldnt face using the old ones too many memories , all was going ok till today ,when i sat down to write christmas cards ive had to stop for a break as is just so painful and i cant stop crying and i havent felt so sad for a long time , i know this is prob *normal * and its not just not putting julians name in the cards i want to thank people for their love and support but it hurts so much , i keep thinking back to how special christmas was last year but was also very very sad for us all ,
We are all coping really well and are happy again and life does go on , but somedays it suprises me how painful this still is , and how much i so need a hug from the one person that cant give it to me ,
sorry if ive upset anyone with this blog but even i have down days sometimes , love and hugs xxx
