Today has been a roller coaster of emotion and fears and I am still feeling very frightened, confused and angry. Today my mum ended up back in hospital with high calcium. I am aware that this can happen in the later stages of cancer. Fear took over me, and it still has, that my mum is further towards the end than I had thought and that maybe time is running out quicker than I had thought it would. Does God not know that I am not ready for him to take my mother away from me? Does God not know that I will never be ready? Am I being frightened for no reason? Is this just a glitch and I have gone into fear and panic mode for no reason? I am hoping it is and I am just being stupid. I am sure I am and my darling mother will fight back, just like she did last time, and we can have some more precious moments together.
Really very sorry to read about your mum & that you are feeling so terrible, but all we can do is hope & pray to god that she recovers, you never know what's around the corner & there's always hope, but it is so terrible that we have to watch & wait. I's so traumatic for all concerned, but my thoughts and prayers will be with you & I wish you all the strength in the world to get through these sad, uncertain times.
I am so sad to read your heartrending post. I can empathise with you more than you could ever realise. I do so hope that your mum manages to fight on and stay with you. The trials and tribulations when watching the people we love struggle are tremendous and no-one truly understands how you are feeling (even those who have been through it). With your permission I will include your your mum and you her family in my prayers. Look after yourself otherwise you too will be ill. x x x
