Today has been a roller coaster of emotion and fears and I am still feeling very frightened, confused and angry. Today my mum ended up back in hospital with high calcium. I am aware that this can happen in the later stages of cancer. Fear took over me, and it still has, that my mum is further towards the end than I had thought and that maybe time is running out quicker than I had thought it would. Does God not know that I am not ready for him to take my mother away from me? Does God not know that I will never be ready? Am I being frightened for no reason? Is this just a glitch and I have gone into fear and panic mode for no reason? I am hoping it is and I am just being stupid. I am sure I am and my darling mother will fight back, just like she did last time, and we can have some more precious moments together.
