Grief..... no emotion like it.

Hi ya Hatzj,

Listen no matter what your Family want if you want to remember your Mum, the way you remember her

should it be the annivarsary of her death or her birthday. You do so the way you want. Im sure your Mum would like that. So if you want to cry scream or shout do so. This site would be a great help for you to get on with your greving. There are people on this site who would be only too glad if they can help in any way. So you do what you want to remember you Mum. We will always be here for a chat if you wish to do so.

Take care and be Safe Love Sarsfield.xx

As Sarsfield has said - you remember your Mum how ever you want to.  Grief and the way people choose to comemorate anniversaries and birthdays is very personal.

Just because the rest of your family wish to carry on as normal, doesn't mean you have to.  It can be a special secret between you and your Mum.

Perhaps you could go somewhere that is special for you and your Mum.

My Grandmother always used to invite friends round for afternoon tea on her birthday.  Since my Grandmother's death (1986) my Mum has always honoured her birthday by continuing the tradition.  

So 22nd December every year my Mum has a tea party.  

I tell you this just because it may help you to think of an appropriate way to celebrate your Mum's life.

My thoughts are with you.

Jo

hi hatz,shes in your heart,and always will be,no one can alter or change anything,your bond and your love for each other doesnt stop it goes on forever,i lost my mum over 1yr ago to cancer she was my life and always will be,i felt so  grief stricken i didnt want to go on ,i prayed to god to be taken so i could be with her,i was beyond help,i was very lucky that my family supported me through it but the loss and hurt is part of my life,i bet your family are crying too but just dont know how to show it or thats their way of coping,i light a candle beside her photo and talk to her all the time,i dream of her too,your lovely mum will be right beside you the whole of your life because shes your mum and thats what mums do,we have to grieve without guilt ,so you do whatever it takes for you,your family will understand that its what you need to do and its your grief your living with,so you mark your mums passing anyway you need and want too ,im sure you wont be judged as they love you ,your their sister, take care, mazz x

Hi Hats, no one can stop you from doing something special to commemorate your mums passing, its your choice. I can see how upset you are having to keep the death of your mum quite and not talk about her, like you say your mum WAS

and because she has gone doesn,t mean she never existed. Go and sit somewhere that was special to you both and tell your mum how you feel, how you will always love her and she is forever in your heart. Maybe your siblings haven,t come to terms with your mums passing and find it difficult to talk about it, but they dont have to put pressure on you .Like Sarsfield said you will always find people on the Mac site who will listen

when you want to talk. Also you write a letter to your mum telling her about your day and what you have been doing, or a diary that's just between the two of you. My mum passed away 13 years ago but i still think about her every day and i talk to her in my head, i find it soothing to do this , we never forget our mums and that's the way it should be.

Sending you a motherly hug.

With Love Lucy Lee. xxx

Hi,

Do all of the things everybody has suggested, you will never forget her and I suspect the others won't either but everybody has their own way of dealing with grief and it is important that you do what you want to do,

I lost my dad 36 yrs ago and my mum 15 yrs ago. They would both have been 100 yrs old next year so I am having a party. I might be the only one there but I'm still having it!

Please stay on the site you will find support here.

Love Jen XX