Woke up filled with anxiety and dread today :(

1 minute read time.

Morning all,

Had a scare with dad last night, he was still feeling well after his first chemo on Thursday for SCLC (Carboplatin and Etoposide), no nausea or obvious fatigue.  Anyway they'd been for a walk (him and mum) and gone for some lunch, came back and went for a lie down (he's not been sleeping).  He came down and all of a sudden there was a look of complete fear in his face, I asked what was wrong and he said he couldn't see, his vision and doubled and he was really scared.  After five minutes or so he was ok again but then completed of pains across his chest.  He has been having a pain in the middle of his chest and mentioned it on Thursday, the Oncologist suggested muscle strain or inflammation of the central chest nodes due to the cancer, but he said it was much worse, tightening and around his back.  So I called the oncall cancer ward in Nottingham and had a chat with them.  They said the double vision was not connected with the chemo?? and we think he had indigestion from probably eating a little bit too much at once (been on steriods so he has been eating much better).  He went to bed and this morning I am just frightened to death, there are going to be loads of things like this and I'm not sure we're ready as he has been well so far.  To be honest if I hadn't have been to the appointments with him and seen him have the chemo I would think he was making the whole thing up!  So right back to earth and reality and the fear of what is to come... :( sorry for the gloomy Monday morning post :(

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    sending you a big hug ... It is so hard but you will slowly start to get in to the new normal of how things are and all the scares and symptoms and the like and you will get used to it and cope ...and there will be plenty of days inbetween when it is not like this...you might not think you are ready but you are and you will cope because you are strong and you love your dad and we wre here to love and support you too.

    Little My xxx big hug xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hoping today will be a better one and many more good days to your dad and you all all.

    Good wishes.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Morning, the roller coaster of emotions is very draining, and as Little My says you will soon get used to your new reality and what is your new normal...its not easy but there is a strength in us all that we really don't know about until things like this happen....you have it and will draw on it time and again. There will be good days too..but on the bad days just shout and someone on macland/world will be there to boost you up and give you a cyber hug....Sending lost of postive energy your way. Peanutx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Thank you my lovelies, i do feel a little better now.  Dad feels better today but has still called the chemo nurses as his temperature is below 36, he's just not human!!  When he feels well it is so much easier to cope with but as you say, it's going to be a serious of ups and downs from now on.  But today he feels good (although I feel shite lol) so today is a good day :) xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Big hugs, pleased today is a little better. xx