Aaaaaargghh! Just been reading some old blogs/posts etc, as my husband was watching golf - and read back the blog I left earlier. Was disgusted with myself, sounded sooo ungrateful/awful, there are lots of people worse off than me.
I'm ok at the moment - tumours shrunk, feeling fine - and my son's results were good. But still I'm moaning.
Note to self - I'm really really going to try to be more of a positive person, less of a doom-monger.
And I'm going to start by being really adventurous and going to Peru for a holiday with son and his wife (and hubby) to meet her parents - then, if I'm brave enough, agreeeing to go to the Galapagos Islands as that's my husband's dream. I'm not on chemo now, haven't got to go back to hospital till end of Sept, so 'carpe diem' or whatever they say.
Now if I could just stop worrying about plane crashes.... , terrorists... S.American drug barons....kidnapping....giant tortoises............
FormerMember
Jeanie,
Even the happiest go lucky person has to have some down time - dont be so hard on yourself, there's no one here going to judge you.
Now.......WOW WOW WOW what a holiday that would be......I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO jealous. After watching the BBC "south pacific" programme hubby and I would love to see the Galapagos, heck I'd love to go to Peru.
But I have to admit.........I'm with you on the plane crashes etc LOL actually don't listen to me, go go go and take lots of photos.
Debs xx
ps. I am only 4ft 11" and fit easily into hand luggage ;)
i too have just read your previous blogs /posts and i totally disagree with you :O)
we are all allowed to have moments when we feel down worried and uncertain about what our future hold .you just sound like you are going thro the motions ,i know if and when i'm told my cancer has been cured or put into remission i will have all the same doubts and worries that it will return,its to be expected so as debs said dont go hard on yourself hun.
wow what fantastic holidays how envious am i think i'ld settle for a wet weekend in wales at the moment lol.
Think any of us touched by this disease no matter how positive one is has to have a moan at some point.
The research nurse at my hosp cant get over how happy and positive I am but thats just me, but believe me I have my really down poor me nobody loves me cr*p times. I get them out of my system by either writing them down in my c diary, or having a cry it helps get it out of my system.
Years ago when I was a kid my fave uncle who had complete breakedown and had to spend a couple of years in a psychiatric hospital told me "don't bottle things up let them out" think this addvice has helped me all the rest of my life.
By the way have been to Peru and loved it and really want to go back and the Galapagos wow thats my dream destination along with another stay in the Amazon. Have a wonderful time, If you do go to the Amazon take lots of DEET as the sand flies are little buggers but its well worth it.
Your comment re: terrorists and plane crashes really made me smile! ;-) You have my total agreement with that one. Meanwhile I just wanted to join in with the rousing chorus of "you are how you are" and I don't think that any of your blog posts came over negatively or ungrateful at all. The BEST thing about this site is being able to write things exactly as you are experiencing them/feeling them and NOT be judged, as everyone has been through similar emotions. When you talked about how disappointed you were by some of your friends reactions it really touched a nerve as we too have experienced friends who say "we just want to give you space/time" which translates as too bloody scared to see you and don't know what to say.
Keep positive and adventurous and live life to the full.
Join the club Jeanie. The moaning Minnie club that is lol. You've been through so much, if not with your own illness, then your son, you're more than entitled to have a moan. We all need to offload from time to time and as you know this is the place to do it. Hope you have a good weekend. Get that holiday booked as soon as possible and have a great time. Christine xx
