Hi all, I'm having a bit of a weird day today at times i feel happy and i'm bouncing around everywhere and the next i feel like crying, I have no idea what's going on with me!!?? I've just read Jellyhunny's Blog saying about she lost her Mum yesterday and reading it brought me to tears, I dont know what i would do if i ever lost Mum....On a better note i made the most of Mum going out yesterday and bought myself a pool and invited some friends round, It took 5 hours to fill the bugger!!! Wish i never bothered now because i am soooo sunburnt the slightest movement and it's killing me so that's not really helping my mood today, I had work for a couple of hours so that kept me occupied, but still, people keep asking me stuff about Mum...I kinda wish i didnt know about it in a way or at least none else did i dont want to sound selfish im just sick of hearing it, because i dont want it to be happening i think i'm still trying to tell my self everything is fine and she hasnt got Cancer but unfortunatley reality hit's pretty hard and it dosent stay away for long
Hope you are all well
Love and Huig's
Lauren xx
FormerMember
Hey Lauren.
All I can say to you comes from my own daughter Thorne (18 years old) who is dealing with her Dad's cancer. Only today she told me she was in her car happily driving along, when she got an overwhelming feeling of the need to cry - she was going to teach German to some local English children and didn't want to turn up all red-eyed. SO, she put on her music and sang as LOUD as she could at the top of her voice - said it helped to stem the tears and she didn't care who saw or heard her. You are not alone with the sudden outbursts - its what the Macmillan leaflets term as 'normal'. I personally think its better to let whatever emotion you have out, however unsuitable the situation - go for it girl!!! What isn't normal is your sunburn - hope you haven't got strap-marks - unattractive (lol)! Hang in there Lauren, your mums a lucky lady to have a daughter who loves and cares for her so much - keep making her laugh and remember... its ok to let her see you cry. Julie xx
I bet if you asked everyone on this site whether they had moments where they felt complete despair, the majority would say yes. It's a huge stress to deal with when yourself or a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. In my case, it was an enormous shock and I still feel like it's somebody else that I'm talking about. Even when you are told that they have got all the cancer and you have chemo/radio to prevent recurrence, you still have a nagging doubt that they may miss something or it's going to come back.
What Julie suggests is a really good idea. Find something that distracts you from these gloomy thoughts. I was feeling pretty low the other day and for some reason or another starting singing rousing hymns!! Don't ask me why I didn't pick a pop song or something a bit more up-to-date, but whatever, it helped. Just hope nobody could hear me from the bathroom window!
I dont know if this will help but I had breast cancer diagnosis in 2005. Had a mastomectomy followed by chemo. Lost my hair, lost lots of weight but never lost my sense of humour. since then I have had a reconstruction which went wrong so was partially deconstructed leaving me with a worse chest than before, but still i make fun of it all. In october I am going to get the whole lot redone. Anyone would think i liked the hospital!!! I got married this year and am off to NZ for a month after christmas. I have laughed so much in the past year i nearly popped my stitches.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I want you to see that there is life after diagnosis. It is all very frightening at first, going into the unknown of that dreadful word that no body wants to have in there life.
It is so hard for the family and friends because you feel so useless. But I can assure you , you are never useless. If you can laugh, cry and hug then you are just what the doctor ordered.
I have been on both sides, carer and sufferer. I dont know at what stage your mum is with her diagnosis, It can be scary at each stage, there can be a light at the end of the tunnel as long as you keep a look out for it. Dont be frightened to make plans.
I wish you , your mum and all your family lots of love and ((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
