Hi all, I'm having a bit of a weird day today at times i feel happy and i'm bouncing around everywhere and the next i feel like crying, I have no idea what's going on with me!!?? I've just read Jellyhunny's Blog saying about she lost her Mum yesterday and reading it brought me to tears, I dont know what i would do if i ever lost Mum....On a better note i made the most of Mum going out yesterday and bought myself a pool and invited some friends round, It took 5 hours to fill the bugger!!! Wish i never bothered now because i am soooo sunburnt the slightest movement and it's killing me so that's not really helping my mood today, I had work for a couple of hours so that kept me occupied, but still, people keep asking me stuff about Mum...I kinda wish i didnt know about it in a way or at least none else did i dont want to sound selfish im just sick of hearing it, because i dont want it to be happening i think i'm still trying to tell my self everything is fine and she hasnt got Cancer but unfortunatley reality hit's pretty hard and it dosent stay away for long
Hope you are all well
Love and Huig's
Lauren xx
FormerMember
Awww dear Lauren, your mom has cancer, but as far as i have been readin it seems that she still have all the hope.
I always thought i wouldnt ever survive or learn to live with the fact if my mom got ill. And i never thought it could actually even happen. But then it did. I cried, i cried and cried. And i was so scared. But then i somehow managed to cope with the fact that shes terminally ill. The worst case ever.
Now yesterday she passed away. Me and my dad were there while she took her last breath. Like she would have been waiting all day for us to come there before she gave up. I never cried as much as i was holding her dead hand and stroking her cheek. But it didnt feel unreal. Sort of, it was a relief. Now shes free of pain. She doesnt have to suffer with a tumor a size of a football, inside her stomach anymore. Now she is in a better place. Waiting for us. I dont know what do i belive in, but i belive she is in some good place, and i will meet her oneday when its my time to leave this world. This thought is keeping me going and alive. She wasnt only a mom, she was my best friend. I was always able to tell her about everything, and she always supported me no matter what.
This was the worst thing that could have happened to me right now. And it did. But i know i will survive, it will take long time, it will take many tears, but i know im going to survive. My mom is there somewhere, giving me the strenght to learn to live without her. She is still in my heart and in my memories. The best mom i could have ever had.
So im saying, no matter what happens, im sure you will be able to cope with it. And learn to live with it.
Hugs, and lots of love for you and to your family.
Hi Debbie thanks' for your advice n that i know my Mum will pull through because i have every faith in her, I am scared to watch her go through it but i will try be there for her alot more than i have been in my life, My Mum is my world so my finger's are permantly crossed until she is better
And to Summer, I hope you get through this well and you knowing your Mum is there somewhere will help you loads as it does for any family member you lose, But to lose your Mum must be so hurtful. I send out all my Love to you your Mum and your family, and i'm sure while she is up there chatting away and catching up with old family and friend's My Nan My Grandpa and My cousin Donna will pop in and say Hello and comfort her, Time will pass and you will miss her loads but I think she will and loads of other C sufferers that has beaten by it, will be looking after people like my Mum and other's who have got this dreaded desease
All my Love to you and all of your family the both of you
sometimes you dont want to talk.even think about it ..you just want to beyou doing what you do
and thats ok ....do what my hubby does ...when someone askes him about our son and mr N not feeling like discussin ..he says ...well everythings crap! he says they dont ask anything else
i think hes being unkind dont you?
me i say oh fine fine everything s fine thanx for askin then change the subject
mind you i think some of my friends think im really weird becase they hear me saying that to A then half hour later im in deep conversation with B about it all !!!! im one crazy mixed up but normal lady!
next time you feel low ....go look in a mirror and say hi there lovely lady and give yourself a great big gorgeous smile!.........
;)
xNx
ps n dont forget to tell ur mam how lovely she is too! :)
...but sometimes you just need to let it all out...and that's just as normal and needed! I've got a couple of songs that I KNOW will set me off if I'm feeling that way out. A couple of times early on (waiting for results) I just put them on to help get the tears out of the way! You sound like you're doing so well with it all - your Mum will be so pleased inside at the way you're coping!
Thanks very much for the comment sorry i took so long to reply i havent been on in a while
I did the mirror thing and i had to laugh at myself but making myself laugh was good lol
And as for the singing i watched a film called Rent the other night and god i balled my eyes out!! I even went and bought the soundtrack cuz sum of the songs r sooo gd how sad am i lol
