Not put my own blog up for a long time as I haven't felt as I had anything to say about myself worthwhile, so have contributed on others.
I try to say positive and happy about things, but sometimes it gets hard, and for once there is no joke or double entendre intended. Just sometimes cancer seems to have the habit of being able to break open a little bit of my defence shield, and it is doing that right now, bastard thing.
I had a CT scan on Monday, my first since my op 10 months ago, a big event in my book, and you will understand that. When will I know the results? No idea, no appointment to see the consultant and couldn't get an answer Friday afternoon, so now the weekend adds to the waiting....
Meanwhile I try to support my friends at work who have cancer, and it gets harder. One lady has breast cancer and is on her 3rd chemo, another has had it come back after 6 years but seems to be winning again. For those two ladies life is tough, and then yesterday the wife of a guy I work with passed away after losing her second fight with breast cancer (first one 10 years ago). I can only imagine the anguish and pain this guy is going through and his 3 children, and then I think of the two ladies who are fighting breast cancer and how this makes them feel.
Lastly a guy in the warehouse went to the GP 6 weeks ago with a pain in his side, and having had gall stones two years ago we all thought that was what it would be. But no, the pain was due to a tumour on his liver and it had taken over 90% of the liver, nothing could be done. He is now jaundiced and losing weight rapidly and just hoping he can make it to Xmas.
I've polished off a few glasses of wine tonight, I don't hit the bottle normally though I do like the odd beer, but tonight is get it out of the system night.
As I drink the last glass tonight, I raise it and drink to Janice who lost her battle. I raise it again and drink to Martin, Lorraine and Jenny... and of course everyone on this site, and with each sip of wine I hope I can take away some of your pain and some of mine.
That's the bad stuff done, sorry if it is badly written, sometimes it's hard, normal service will be resumed shortly.
Tight Lines
Tim xxx
