Our recent Community news blogs ‘Being a partner and carer, how cancer affects relationships’ and ‘Let’s talk about cancer and sex’ open up the discussion of how cancer can impact your personal relationships and sex life.
There’s another important relationship that we’d like to feature in today’s blog. That relationship is between you, and the other Community members.
The Community is here all hours of the day to listen, to care and to help. Everyday there’s so much kindness offered in the discussion threads and it’s warming to see you come together to be a friendly voice at the end of an emotional post. Being a reassuring friend to another member is a really kind thing to do. We’d like to take some time to highlight how much your kindness means to those you support.
“There is no shame in having cancer!! I am so glad that you have found this site as you will find kindness, reassure and new friends who understand what you are going through. I know it's not the same as having people who are physically present support you but you will have everyone on this site supporting you through your journey. Sometimes culture and ignorance gets in the way of common sense!”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
“Thank you for being here. This wonderful website and the wonderful people in it, have kept me going. Good solid advice and true kindness, and, during those many lonely hours when I posted a message, always getting an answer. I’m so thankful”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“Thank you all for so much loving kindness over these last few months”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
“Goodness, what a relief it is to hear such kindness, friends are lovely but can’t be expected to understand our fears.”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
“I think it’s good to know there are people on here who will offer support and kindness”
Community member, Melanoma forum
Do you know how much of an impact your words have?
We hope the following helps you to see how appreciated your kindness is. We see every day how much of a difference it’s been for someone to reach out for some guidance on the site and talk to those who can understand how they may be feeling. Even if you don’t have a similar experience, there’s an understanding of what it’s like to be affected by and living with cancer.
"I just want to say a big thank you to this forum as you really helped me through the recovery after my last operation. Your support has meant such a lot to me and I know with your help I’ll get through this one too."
Community member, Head and neck cancer forum
“I really appreciate your kindness x”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“Try and look after yourself, us patients take all the help and kindness we can get but for the carers it’s constant worry.”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“My posts here and elsewhere on social media regarding my cancer surgery in December 2020, my stoma wearing and mental health issues in the wake of it, have brought about some incredibly supportive messages and a reminder that I am far from alone in going through such a struggle in life. I am very grateful for that.”
Community member
“Since my diagnosis, I have been deeply moved by extraordinary kindness and support, advice and the brave examples of others in similar circumstances to my own.”
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“What’s hard is that I'm not looking for acknowledgement of the impact on me, but just a bit of kindness and that I don't deserve to be the butt of his frustration. I think to that people really don't realise how relentless it is having a partner with cancer and how it impacts every part of your lives together. Today I felt so alone dealing with it all I have joined this group, and thank you so much for your post, your honesty, it's meant so much to me and that I am not alone.”
Community member, Carer’s only forum
“I will definitely try the techniques you’ve shared. Wow, I’m so glad I’ve been so open here, the advice, support and love I’ve felt these last few days has been incredible. I don’t know how I’d have got through the shock of it al without your kindness”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
Importance of talking
Having a space like the Online Community to express how you are feeling to people you’ve not met can be helpful. A lot of people find talking about cancer face to face with loved ones difficult, and sometimes the thought of doing this can be upsetting and uncomfortable.
If you can, try to talk openly with people that you trust. That might be a close friend or a family member. Don't worry if you’re not quite ready, start a discussion on the Online Community where there’ll be people nearby ready to share their experience which may provide some comfort.
"It's good to know there is someone out there to talk to other than family and friends (who have been great) but it helps to hear from people who have been in similar circumstances."
Community member, Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum
“What a relief it is to hear such kindness, friends are lovely but can’t be expected to understand our fears.”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
Some members like to update their own blogs they’ve created here on the Community, whilst others like to join in the discussions in the Community groups. We don’t mind how you access support from the Online Community, we’re just glad you’re talking.
Don't forget that if you'd like to chat on the phone with the trusted Macmillan teams on the Support Line, you can give them a call on 0808 808 00 00 from 8am to 8pm every day. Sometimes it can help to speak to someone who is there to listen and they can be a listening ear for as long as you need them.
Why not start a discussion thread in a group that you've joined or set up your own blog. This can be a good way to diarise your experiences. There's some information about setting up a blog and starting a discussion in our Help pages. Don't forget you can always email the Online Community team at Community@macmillan.org.uk if you need any help using the site.
