Some Community members have been discussing the term ‘Cancer Ghosting’ in the Online Community forums. It is a social term that those living with cancer use to describe family and friends not being there to support them once they have told them about their cancer.
“Have any of you experienced cancer Ghosting? It’s where friends and relatives suddenly disappear when you announce that you have cancer. It’s a recognised syndrome apparently- Google it. I am afraid I have experienced it. It can have a big impact.”
Community member, Cancer ghosting discussion, Bladder cancer forum
“Since my diagnosis last year my friends have all disappeared. Messages have stopped, and I'm left with my husband and dog. My husband is my rock, but I miss the distraction my friends provided. It makes the journey hard. No meeting friends for coffee or gossip, no support for the hubster. I'm not sure what I did wrong lol. I just feel so trapped. Nowhere to go other than appointments, no one to see other than medics.”
Community member, Ghosted by friends discussion, Emotional support forum
You don’t have to feel alone when processing your cancer diagnosis. Online forums like our Online Community can be a safe and supportive space for you to ask questions, share personal experiences, and talk about how you are feeling. You may find that you are not alone with how you are feeling.
“I get very lonely too and, in my head! I need to be with other people to gain a better perspective so I'm trying to join more clubs and volunteering etc. I hope I've helped.”
Community member, Living alone with cancer discussion, Cancer chat forum
It’s understandable that some people may not feel comfortable talking about cancer and their feelings, fearing that it may cause some distance from their family and friends. If you have been diagnosed with cancer there is help is you find it difficult to find the words to talk to your family and friends about what you are going through.
There’s guidance in the Talking about cancer booklet to help put your feelings into words and understanding the reactions of others. It also has practical tips for talking and asking for support. We hope it helps you deal with some of the questions or feelings you may have. Visit our online information about talking about cancer.
It can also be helpful to try and include your family and friends on your cancer journey. If you feel comfortable taking someone with you to appointments or creating a group chat with updates. These are some of the suggestions we see members sharing in our forums.
“Maggies is brilliant. I’ve been on a few courses there that really helped me. Plus if you just want to pop in for a chat that’s ok. Also friends and family can also go in for a chat to help them understand.”
Community member, Cancer ghosting discussion, Bladder cancer forum
“Now is the time to get the group WhatsApp going and ask for help. I felt dreadful doing it but thought if it was any of my friends I wouldn’t hesitate to help. I sent out my dates for treatment and every single one has been filled with a chaperone. Whilst you physically may not need it….emotionally it’s lovely to have the company and as time goes on you will get very tired.”
Community member, Newly diagnosed discussion, Anal cancer forum
“It must be so hard for people who haven’t been through this to even start to understand or even know what to say. Luckily, we have this community & we are all absolutely getting each others feelings.”
Community member, So sick and tired of this discussion, Bereaved spouses and partners forum
Have you experienced cancer ghosting? Share your tips on how you dealt with this, alongside any advice for maintaining relationships throughout treatment.
