I haven't blogged for ages, because by the time I get on here and starting reading, a few hours go by and - well thats it. I'll do some back dated updates soon.
Its hard to believe that I have passed one anniversay - the anniversary of my diagnosis and am now approaching the first anniversary of my op. I don't know how I feel about that ... how odd.. part of me is relieved that the year is over, the treatment is behind me - well apart from the Tamoxifen!
I try not to think of it as a lost year, because there have been good things coming out of it, such as all the friends I have made on this site, a new view of life. But the other morning driving to work I had a momentary dip, this time last year I was saying goodbye to my boob, I was preparing for my sisters birthday and my op on 2 Oct - and I wanted to cry only for a moment, not a good idea when your driving - believe me I've done it. Don't know why I felt sad, I am hugely grateful to still be here and to have hopefully a good prognosis, a chance to still do things but occasionally I hate what has happened, I hate that this thing has changed my body in a way I don't like, I hate the Tamoxifen and how it makes me feel. Talk about a Sweaty Betty!!
I don't want to commemorate the day unless I can do it in a positive way, there is no point me wailing about it - never been someone to cry over spilt milk - well not much anyway.
So Friday 2 Oct is goodbye tumour day - you have been evicted and are not allowed to return, all trespassers will be annihilated. So now I am gonna plan some celebrations !!
Too young to have a routine mammogram...? Carol.... I hate you! No, I don't! I am really only 21 - the age I was when I got married 40 years ago... so there!
As to 'my darlings'... depends on the order of merit...? I suppose it should be: husband, children... and then Bonnie and Clyde... who are gorgeous and send you slurpy licks!
Cake? Chocolate? Champagne? Wait for me I will be there my friend (Den says he wants some cake too!!)
Anniversaries are weird aren't they.....my ct scan is apparently OK so.....onwards and all that......Raise a glass for me on Friday and save some yummies till next Friday and I will pop in!!!!! YAY!!!
I think we feel weird because we are glad it has been a year - i.e. it is behind us - we got through it- we have survived - but we are also aware that everything has changed and although we are forging forward back to normality it is ever so slightly not the normal we had before.
But hey - you have survived - you did all the treatment - and you are back to work - amazing :o) Now go grab your life with both hands and have FUN you deserve it - I'm rooting out the champers for a certain date in November as we speak he he he Lots of love Jools xx
Hi Carol...........I know exactly what you are saying, I passed my anniversary in March this year , that was from being diagnosed and a year this June for my op and in January coming it will be a year since stopping treatment. It all seems like a bad dream now but I celebrate every day (not with a drink mind you!) and I shall be joining the work force again in a few weeks. Yipeeee. I lost that year but like you some great things came out of it. Take care love.....love Carol x
