BrambleDigger's blog

My Lord, do I need some friends tonight…….. Yesterday, my blog was light and fun – although every word was true. Gone midnight last night, I turned in and thought I would sleep soundly until the alarm went off at 06:20, then I’d get up and ready for work. How wrong could I be? I saw every minute of the night hours – every second – every single moment. I went into dark places in my mind that I have never, ever, visited…

I really don't know what all the fuss was about - however, it was what happened before and afterwards that made me laugh - eventually! I took the whole day off work, today. It's not far from here to Salisbury, but I wanted to 'prepare'. I had no real idea what to 'prepare' for - I'd never had an MRI scan before - but the thought of 'preparing' seemed like a good one. So, after a good long lie-in, I got myself ready for…

Well, Thursday's the big day - I wonder if the MRI will show that the cancer is still contained within the prostate - or whether it has spread. In my first two blogs, I said that it hadn't sunk in yet and I wasn't really ready to accept that I had been hit by a cancer. I still feel OK physically, I haven't developed a little flag that says "I've Got Cancer" and everything seems to be working exactly like it did before…

Thanks to everyone for your messages of support - It's good to know that I'm not alone. That's another odd thing - I don't feel alone. I thought I might, along with the fear and emotion, but there's nothing - nothing different, anyway. I have always been able to compartmentalise my thoughts, filing stuff away in my head, then taking it out to have a look. If there's nothing I can do at that moment, it gets put back again…

Two days ago, I went to Salisbury Hospital for the results of a recent TRUS and biopsy. There it was - locally-advanced prostate cancer. I absorbed the news, accepted the information given to me and made an appointment for an MRI scan. It was just like going shopping! OK, so I drove home and opened a bottle of wine - but where is the panic, where are the emotions? I have read several blogs here - I only joined last…