Well, Thursday's the big day - I wonder if the MRI will show that the cancer is still contained within the prostate - or whether it has spread.
In my first two blogs, I said that it hadn't sunk in yet and I wasn't really ready to accept that I had been hit by a cancer. I still feel OK physically, I haven't developed a little flag that says "I've Got Cancer" and everything seems to be working exactly like it did before I went to my GP last October.
I still can’t – or don’t want to – accept it. That must be very normal – loads of folk on here have told me – and I really, really am grateful for everyone’s words of support and love.
Something I have noticed is the reaction of other people. Real, face-to-face people (not that everyone on here is anything other than real. We are all on the same wavelength) I mean the people where I work. It’s a small office – two other guys, both younger than me and six girls, ranging from 26 to late 40s. Neither of the guys really want to listen, talk, or otherwise share what I’m about. One of the guys is my boss and, apart from asking me how I was going to get to and from the hospital, has taken no interest at all.
The girls, on the other hand, have been fantastic. I guess I’m like a favourite uncle to all of them – I’m 56 and certainly no threat!!! They have all asked me about prostate cancer and what it does, what it affects and what are the long term problems. They have made talking about it so very easy.
Just imagine talking to a 26 year old single girl about all the personal side effects of PC! She – well, they all – asked very pertinent questions and seemed genuinely interested and concerned. They have been unbelievable – I am so grateful to them for making these past few days bearable. Otherwise, I think, I would have been climbing the walls with worry.
It’s just coming up to midnight Wednesday and I’m off to my pit for, probably, a sleepless night! Tomorrow it’s away to Salisbury for the MRI and bone scan. Then more waiting while the consultant decides whether it’s going to be a knife and fork job – or he’s going to put me in the microwave for a couple of weeks! Personally, I still think I’m going to opt for surgery – cut the blighter out and have done with it.
We’ll see.
Much love to you all
Steve
FormerMember
Hi Brambledigger,
It is amazing how different people react to your diagnosis - you certainly find out who are your real friends. There are those you thought would stand by you who suddenly finds themselves 'ever so busy' when mere acquaintances step up and give you lifts, visit, send thoughtful messages and run errands. I think some people are so fearful of cancer they can't even bear to talk about the subject. I'm glad the girls in your office are being supportive and long may they continue to do so.
I admire your 'gallows' humour with references to 'knife and fork job' or 'pop me in the microwave'. Hope everything goes well today.
This strange reaction thing - it's something I had experienced before, but not quite like this. Many years ago I was a member of an amateur dramatics group and......well.......need I say more. As soon as I dropped that little gem into a conversation, it was as if I had suddenly grown another head! "Oh, you do <strong>that</strong>, do you? Oh I couldn't get up on stage like <strong>that</strong>."
Glad you enjoy my odd take on life. The MRI went well this afternoon, it's the rest of the day that has gone awry - take a peek at my offering today.
I have been receiving treatment for advanced prostrate cancer for the past year and I am on hormone therapy for the next three years. Everybody greets me with the remark "How well you look Tony". Even when I was going through the after effects of radiotherapy and feeling realy rotten people greated me in the same way. I get the impression from people that they have no idea that my cancer was capable of reducing my life span considerable. I am quiet sure people think I am a total fraud.
Physically the cancer has had little effect on my life, but mentally it has left a few scars because of the way other people have reacted to it.
