struggling

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

10 Aug 2010

I don't know where to start but am already crying. Dad had been doing so well considering, until last thursday. The GP has said this *****! disease is spreading rapidly and he only has a month maybe 2. Yesterday I went to see them and he looked totally different - bright, out of pain and eating! I just can't comprehend this and am really struggling.

I know the day is going to come but can't believe it,and whilst life continues whatever I don't know how we will all go on without him there. Can't sleep as I just keep thinking off all the things he used to do and those little things he did for mum, me and my children that he will never do again and i have no idea how we will manage - some of the them i know i simply won't that's why he used to do them!

I'm scared of a world where he isn't here, what am i scared of? the loneliness, the grief, of my whole world tumbling down around me, mum not coping, of never being able to live a "normal" life again - you name it, i'm scared of it!

What makes it worse is that I know the worst is yet to come and when that day arrives I will have to live everyday without him - there is no going back and somehow the finality of that is just too much.

So sorry to anyone daft enough to read this but I need to say these things and the only person who I know personally who understands me is the one person I refuse point blank to cry in front of and as I am now crying buckets talking to him is definately out of the question!

FormerMember over 14 years ago

Everyone here has said it all.Im so sorry for you all having to go through this argo. I lost my Dad 2 years ago and i still grieve for him I miss him everyday but somehow life goes on and you will get through all the scary things that your are thinking about. I wish I had found this site a long time ago because there is alot of support here from people who really do understand.

My thoughts are with you, try and take each day as it comes and just enjoy every minute you have with your Dad, he could be here longer than the Drs say we never know these things everyone is different.

Take care

love scarlet xxx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Argo,

My thoughts are with you and your Family,and of Course you Dad.

You will have plenty of memories all good to remember him by. I hope when his time comes you and the Family will be there to give him comfort. He will be proud of you for the loving caring and understanding you have shown.You look after yourself as well.

Take care and be safe Big HugsLove Sarsfield.xxx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Argo, like the others have said spend as much precious time as you can with your dad. I lost my 4 months ago after only being diagnosed eight weeks before.

It is a very difficult time and the future will be too, but you will get by, if only because we have to.

There are loads of us here who understand what you are going through and if you need to vent your feelings do so. I do it all the time lol.

Best wishes to you and your family. Christine xx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Argo,

Don't apologise for expressing how you feel and what you are going through. You are grieving.

You expressed perfectly your experience which echo's others so you shouldn't feel so alone. We feel your pain.

This disease is the worst news anyone can hear. The pain is severe for everyone in the family and emotionally we feel the pain of such a cancer

don't apologise for expressing how you feel. You spoke with Integrity and told it like it is. Thank you for sharing so honestly from the heart.

I hope and pray in the days ahead that you find some measure of strength and comfort to go on one day at a time. Don't be hard on yourself. This is bad news and PAINFULL.

GOD BE WITH YOU AND FAMILY!

Love Doreen XXXXXX
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel
FormerMember over 14 years ago

hi argo

this is my first post her, my mum has terminal oesophogeal and secondary tumours everywhere. Started getting symptoms in May 2010, diagnosed in June, told it was terminal 4 weeks ago and that she has months at best. I just wanted to say I feel exactly the same as you, scared and confused, selfish for worrying about how I will cope when shes gone. You are definately not alone in how you feel, and hopefuly we can find a way through this.

Thinking of you

Sharonxx
- Cancel
- Up 0 Down
- Reply
- More
- Cancel