Its that time of the month again when dad is going for a check up with the consultant. I know that it is necessary as he is on a new drug trial but i hate it, every month i feel scared, hopeless, helpless, hope for a miracle, fear of hearing those fateful words.
Not helping is the fact that its coming up to Christmas, we got told the day before christmas last year that he had cancer and that surgery/chemo/radio were all out. I really used to love christmas but this year would rather forget it completely.
