Here we go again

Hi I just wanted to say hi.  I could have been reading my story when I was reading your blog.  My dad had his kidney removed in 2007 and was told that it had spread before Christmas last year (16/12/08).  He was told no chemo or radio but could have drug trial as inhibitor.  Joke that was as that has made him so ill this year!  I too dread the consultants visits as you never know what is coming and I too feel so helpless and useless.  All we can do is be there to support and love.  I know exactly how you feel about Christmas, this disease changes your whole perspective on life doesn't it?  I am sending you hugs and thoughts and hope the appointment goes as well as it can.  Take care Becky xxx

Thank you for your lovely reply.  I find it so difficult to express how i feel. I have always turned to my parents when things went wrong but this time i cannot!  Everything you say is just a mirror of me, even down to the symptoms that our dads have experienced and our own feelings.  

One thing I am finding and hope you will to is that this network provides that outlet, there is always someone here who understands how you feel and is quite happy to listen to you moan/cry or whatever you need to do to get through.

Hugs and thoughts are returned and will always be at the end of an email.  Take care Ali

Hi Ali

I too have found great comfort in this site and the wonderful people who have found their way here through difficult circumstances.  It is important to have an outlet, somewhere where you do not feel judged for crying or wanting to scream.  Much like you my parents have been my rock, especially my dad and I don't want to burden him with more worry but I have found comfort here.  I will be thinking of you and your family.  My support is always here just shout and a shoulder and a cyber hug will be there.  Take care Becky xx

just had news on dad and not quite sure how to react. on the positive the xray appears to show that the tumour remains the same as last month, great i think but, and there always is these days, xrays are

"not a diagnostic" tool and we will have to wait until he has a scan after he has been on the drug for 3 months-that will be christmas then again! and his blood levels are so low he now needs a blood transfusion.  Is this good,bad or just something else that goes along with this disease?

Hi Ali, I am sorry to say that I think this is something that goes with the disease.  There seems to be a lot of waiting and seeing.  I am sorry that it will be just before Christmas again.  Good news as you say that it has not changed over the last month but always a doubled edged sword with a but on the end.  Sorry to hear your dad needs a blood transfusion - lets hope it makes him feel a bit brighter.  Sorry cannot be of any more help but I am always here.  There seems to be so many up's and down's on this roller coaster ride and nothing is ever simple is it?  Thinking of you Becky xxx