chat site /fight site

I have been going into the chat room since my mum was diagnosed on November 5th.  It was difficult at first as I didn't know anyone and it would have been easy to give up thinking that everyone else were friends but I perservered and soon got up to speed.  People were always welcoming and I've had a lot of help and support as well as a lot of laughs which are often a welcome release.  

Last night it was extremely busy and even I, who've been on there for quite a few weeks now, found it hard to keep up.  As soon as I go on people say hi and ask how mum is and how I am.  I am very aware that new people could be put off by everyone seeming to know everyone else on there.  I always welcome people and ask how they are.  If they are new to me I point out that I've not met them before and ask what brings them here.  There were so many new faces last night that there was no way I could have kept up with who was coming in and out and I came off fairly quickly but I will be back in there today and everday.  If I found someone saying something unacceptable or if they questioned my, or someone elses honesty I would make it clear, there and then, that I wasn't happy.  I have never had a problem with any of the people I have met there, nor seen anyone say anything unacceptable, and I do now consider them friends who would instantly drop any lighthearted conversation if I said I was upset, needed support or advice.

I am very upset that some people have been labelled as insensitive when I know them and have always found them to be very sensitive to peoples needs.  They are all there because they are patients or carers and enjoy meeting likeminded people.  I have been there when they have laughed together and when they have cried together.  

Anyone new to chat needs to stick in there and give people time to get to know them and support them.  I would hate anyone to think that I'm part of a click and that I wasn't sensitive, supportive and helpful to them when they've needed it but it may not happen within the first 10 seconds you enter the room.  I've seen a lot of people come in and go out again almost immediately for whatever reason.

I knew no one when I first went in but now I know a lot of people and any that I don't know I try to engage in conversation so that I can get to know them.  I truly hope this recent problem, whatever happened as I wasn't there, does not damage all of the good stuff that goes on in chat!

hi bad fairy , hope your ok this cold chilly afternoon....keep nice and warm....you know, i hate feeling suspicious of people, its because friends have been hurt most of all...for me i just ignore the threads i have doubts over....well i do 99% of the time...i dont like to see nice caring people get took for a ride as they have done in the past. think angela is right, just stay of the threads..yup chat needs 2 rooms ..i think someone tried to do a second room, only not enough people were on....

i must admit when i go in chat the few times i have then its more for a nag and a laugh and an escape from serious stuff, but i do respond if someone comes in with a problem..if someone just came in when i was on and sat on the side they would think its a footy chat room as i jibber on about footy, or chat about everything BUT cancer...

deff need to keep two rooms going...trouble is people dont allways realise there can be two rooms up and running, or even more.....think you can make your own room even....

the new site though i wish it hadnt changed...thing is i can get around on here and i can use it.....but its not about me....some people just cant figure it out...thats why i wish the old sites had not changed, for those who cant work the new one out...

in chat rooms hey we who have been in chat rooms on other sites know how people can be there to cause hassle or wind everyone up...i go in a hull city room and the amount of bloody leeds fans in there is amazing....bloody leeds...lol

look after yourself bad fairy...talking of footy im off to the bookies...did hull city to draw 2-2 with bolton and the score was 2-2.....yeee haaa....i won a bet at long last.....

My hubby is now in the middle of his 4th year fighting stage 4 bowel cancer. I, as his sole carer, fell into a depression after the 3rd year of this fight. This site and all the people on it have helped me so much, and have pulled me back out. The people on Chat have been only wonderful to me. It is a relief to meet other people going through the same situation and to give and receive support, insight, and help with humour and grace. The few frauds that have surfaced have caused pain, and made people wary.  But there is so much good that has come from Chat, that I hope people will continue to use it.

XOXOXO   Mo

On 24th November 09 my world fell apart, I was told I had breast cancer 6 core biopsys were done for testing.  A week later was informed I would need to have a mastectomy, my world fell apart, I was in a dream state, not coping on the inside but looking okay on the outside. Over the years I have lost my first born child at a month, then both my sons 23 and 24 to a very rare illness and during this my mother from cancer.  This to me was like putting the last nail in my coffin so to speak.  My mind felt it could not cope with anymore.  There seemed no justice in it at all.  I rang the Macmillan help line who were fab. was informed about the chat room and decided to give it ago. Being totally useless with computers it was hard getting around and still is for me.  Yes difficult to get going as everyone seems to know everyone.  I gave it a few goes and Thank God I Did, they have been my life line, helped to get me sorted out on the computer for a start. Given me time to harp on about my problems, been loving, caring, kind and oh so supoportive. I have since being on it found it  disturbing to realise that someone comes on who is not genuine. And find it sad that they have to do this to give themselves a kick out of life.I do not know all there is to know about a lot of the cancers or treatments only what I am going through but I do hope that In return iun my own way I have been giving back something to others.  Most of us are here because we need this be it for fun and laughter to brighten a dark moment, or to reach out for help and support.  I can say with all my heart that these folk on this site are more like family and I owe them all big time. We are only in this life time once so let us all use our time wisely.  Love you guys

I'm sorry to hear that there has been a problem in the chat room. I can't say I've noticed any bad feeling.

All I can say is that in the short time that I have been visiting the chat room I have found nothing but support.Long may it continue.

My family and friends have been a wonderful support but they don't know what to say to me beyond "How are you?" I know I can go into the chatroom and my cancer is out in the open, so to speak.