this morning is one of those mornings I think all us stage 4 patients have, it's 5.15 am raining outside and am crying quietly at the table. Its peaceful as no one will be up for at least another 2 hours when they start their day of work, I wont be joining that daily routine, instead I have to play the dance with what side effects might come out to play today and try to suppress the question I wonder how long have I left…
when I am gone.. Everyone of us has this conversation first with ourselves and then our significant other, all of us living today can have it for all us will be gone its just that others is been rushed along. Thats how I try to look at what is ahead when the cancer journey starts, don't get me wrong I am the last to submit and wish everyone strives to stay alive but eventually the cancer will take us earlier than advertised…
