when I am gone.. Everyone of us has this conversation first with ourselves and then our significant other, all of us living today can have it for all us will be gone its just that others is been rushed along. Thats how I try to look at what is ahead when the cancer journey starts, don't get me wrong I am the last to submit and wish everyone strives to stay alive but eventually the cancer will take us earlier than advertised and we need to face it equally brave as we do the fight to avoid it. This was brought to me as very important when one of the greatest worries my wonderful kind wife had was ' Am I scared ?' at first I didn't know how to answer it ...and please dont just jump on the easy bandwagon, this is not a religious post. All I could reply to my was no, I think in some ways I am fortunate in that I get to leave this world under my own terms in some regards. I will keep a happy face for as long as possible so my grandkids will never have to reminisce regarding their granddad as 'the bad time when gandad was sick and dying ' I shall have a say as to how not only shall I depart, cremation been my choice but also ask my family how they would like to spend their last days with me ? that is a choice very people get to make.. but yes I am still scared for when I am gone my job of minding my wife and family is taken from me I just hope I have done enough to make things some way easier, facing our own mortaility makes me more determined to put that phrase of I am gone redundant for many years to come yet. So rise up brothers and sisters we have long ways to go yet, the fight will never end till we accept it, I dont know about you I aint ready yet.
