i cant get out of this depression, try as i might, i used to be positive, but now i think i be worn done by cancer, it just wont go, after all the treatment it should of gone, but it wont go, i feel trapped in invisable bubble that wont burst and set me free, sometime the walls of this bubble become very thin and transparent that i can all most tadte freedom and be free of this disease, but then i comes back stronger…
The last couple of days have mentally been bad, i just cant shake off the fact that things are not going to be ok, yes i must admit this time last year i thought that i would either be in an NED status or dead, not still stuck in cancer world, with limeted options, i thought on jan 5th that i was going to be told there was nothing more they could do, but instead found out the tumors could be surgically removed i was amazed…
well in 4-5 weeks time i have another scan to see if there are only one or two germ cell cancerous nodules in my lungs, if so all well and good, as it be surgery for a possible cure,
and why not me? I. Mean other people have been cured by surgery so why not me??
but am i looking at this as vain hope, would the consultants lie to me? I mean nothing gone right so far? Should i be spending my money enjoying things as if…
last throw of the dice, saw.my consultant last friday who conformed there plan,
wait till the end of march rescan and see if surgery is still an option, if not then not good, this is all very well having it explainec to me its the best plan as if they wait till march
they get all th active disease out in one go, trouble is thats in 6 weeks time, an awful lot can happen in 6 weeks time, like umpteen more tumors appear…
does the above seem a familar phase ? Yep im not syre how many times ive heard this said to me, i know the people mean well and dont know what to say , but really why that phase , i hate it i really do i mean what am i suppossed to do stay asleep till its all over? Tell the sun it cant come up any,ore to start a new day?
i have no choice but to get up eat, try and do things, wait for my wife to come home, maybe when it…
