Good evening all, I’m new here, hello one and all.
i was diagnosed with stage1 endometrial cancer April 2022, has a complete hysterectomy 31st May 2022. I am one of the lucky ones and didn’t need any more aggressive treatment. My 6 mths check up was very scary & took me back to that day in April where mt life changed forever. I’m due my 12 mth check up next month & im already stressing over it. I had a few health problems before this bomb entered my life but now I feel worse than ever. Chronic all over body pain which is relentless. My GP said the hormone changes have made my pains that weee already there worse and they want me to talk to my consultant again about HRT. They’ve already said I can’t have it due to the type of cancer but I will ask again next month. People that I’ve not seen since my cancer get that puttying look when I see them and you can tell they just don’t know what to say. Will people look at me that way forever now! Will this pain ever end or at least ease. My work are letting me work from home 2-3 days a week which helps but some days I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t leave the house unless I’m going to work. The days where I have to go into the office are so long and painful. It takes so long to get ready to go into the office that by the time I get there I’m already in excruciating pain and exhausted.
i feel like a fraud because I am one of the lucky ones but some days are so bad that I don’t feel lucky. The “happy pills” that I’m now on help me function but only just. I’ve just applied for PIP which makes me feel seeing written down all the things I can’t do anymore. The cancer has gone but the dread of it returning hangs over me every day & how it’s left me and the person it’s turned me into, I hate.
i have great friends and a supportive family but they don’t get it. They try but they just don’t understand. Will this dread go away, will the chronic pain and sheer exhaustion give me a break!
Hello MissRLW
I am sorry to see you are having problems after your diagnosis of endometrial cancer and hysterectomy that you had last year.
I understand about the check ups bringing back the memories- I currently have mine every 3 months and the build up is tough. They do bring some reassurance though and the nurse that runs my clinic is really nice so that helps. I find the check ups are more looking at the whole of me rather than just one part. I do try and write a list for each time I go in and work my way through it. It is so natural to get nervous about them so being prepared helps me. Maybe this is a time that you could also talk about your other health problems such as the pain.
You are right in thinking that the hormone changes are also probably affecting you. I was told that I could not have HRT as my cancer was hormone affected. It may be that there are some other treatments that could be offered though?
Long term pain is draining and you have done well to return to work. I did not and can't see me returning in the near future. I did have chemo and I did have radiotherapy but am not sure what has caused what but I am in no way able to return to full time work yet. I claimed PIP after advice from a Macmillan advisor who also went through what other support I could claim. It was really helpful and has meant that I can continue to recover at home fully before I consider returning to work.
I will pop a link here in case it may be of help to you.
Ask a Financial Guide - Macmillan Online Community
I found my work were very supportive but if you need any work advise, here is a link. They can advise you on your rights and how reasonable adjustments can be made for you. I see that they are already letting you work from home for part of the week so this is good.
Ask a Work Support Adviser - Macmillan Online Community
Please do not feel a fraud- you have had cancer and surgery and only a year ago. Healing takes time emotionally and physically. You are also having other health problems. It is good that you have been to your doctor and that the medication he has put you on is helping but maybe it is something you could review. You say they are helping you function but only just, and that you are just going to work and no where else and are finding the days long and painful. Maybe it is just too much too soon and that you need some time off or other treatment for the pain? I understand the anxiety and dread that the cancer may come back- I think this is really common and I certainly feel like it is hanging over me at times. It seems really common on here to read about people who feel the same.
You say you have great family and friends who are supportive and that is really positive. What I found though, like you, is at times although they try to understand they don't always totally get it. One said to me the other day "you'll be fine, don't worry about it" Well I do. Cancer changes you and your outlook. It's a massive thing to go through. You say about being one of the lucky ones- don't feel guilt- there is no competition about who has had it worse. All cancer journeys are different, we all need different treatments- it's all individual.
Would it help to talk to someone who would understand- sometimes talking to those who are closest can be difficult
I will pop a link here from Macmillan in case it is something that you would want to think about.
Talking, counselling and support groups | Macmillan Cancer Support
I hope that this helps, but if you need anything please let me know.
Take care
Jane
You are welcome.
Anything else- let me know and I can point you in the right direction.
Jane
