Emotional impact

Hi Gelisdefleury,

I really do not think people realise the huge impact of an operation and then radiotherapy has on our body. Because you can't see the impact of radiotherapy, I think people presume its easy. I know its not. My husband had an operation for throat cancer, then radiotherapy. Within a year they decided he needed his larynx out. That took 18 months to heal up, and they said it was the effects of the radiotherapy which caused poor healing. So, I think your body is still recovering from the radiotherapy. Its had a battering, and it will take time to get over it all.

Be kind to yourself, rest when you need to, and don't think you should be bounding around!!! xxxxxx

Hi Gelisdefleury. I know what you mean about emotions, I often try to remember what life was like before all the "C" thing happened during a worldwide pandemic. Just the idea of deciding one morning to go and look at the shops with no plan in mind except have a nice cup of coffee and a piece of cake! Now my friends are asking when they can come and visit but I'm so frightened of catching anything that will compromise my treatment I'm always saying No - sorry! I didn't have a big bucket list as such but I'd love to go up in the London Eye, see Coldplay live in concert! My hubby's idea of ambition is to think of a different walk for the dog every day LOL. He's also rubbish in the emotion department but he does cuddle me more than he used to.

I also had to change a lot of my dietary lifestyle, not vegetarian but a lover of chick peas, beans, lentils, whole grain bread which now always upsets my gut.

I'm now tying myself up in knots as I've my next chemo session on 21/1 followed by a CT scan on 27/1 which will show if the chemo's working. Got to stay positive.

Hugs to you out there in Greece, Barb xx

Hello Gelisdefleury The emotional impact of having a cancer diagnosis and treatment can last a while. Add in all the uncertainties and frustrations of the last 18 months  and it’s not surprising that you feel emotionally battered and drained.  I had radiotherapy after surgery and chemo so I understand how tired you feel physically and emotionally. It takes quite a while to get over the physical side effects, possibly longer to come to tterms with all the emotional baggage it leaves you with,  I’d say be kind to yourself, just as you would be to your best friend if she were going through this. Try to find something you enjoy doing each day. It might help to vent in a journal. It doesn’t have to be lots of writing.  You you could draw or stick in pictures, cuttings and quotes which help you to express how you’re feeling. Over time, you’ll be able to track your progress. Some people find crafts very helpful. I knit a lot and find that the fathom of knitting can be very soothing, plus it keeps my hands busy and means I have to concentrate so there’s less room for the negative stuff to crowd in. Are you able to exercise at all? Even a gentle walk in the fresh air can help lift the spirits if done regularly. Some ladies find mediation or prayer or using mindfulness techniques can help help with processing emotions. It’s great that your husband so supportive and you’ll find lots of us here willing to listen, but sometimes we just need our listener to be with us in the room and that’s where some professional counselling can help. Your GP should be able to point you in the right direction. if you are a person of faith, your local faith leader may be able to offer some pastoral support too . Cruse has some helpful information about dealing with grief - they’re UK based but lots of the information they give is general in nature and you can find them here

https://www.cruse.org.uk/

Ultimately all these things will pass and you’ll see light again but right now that understandably feels a long way off. Give yourself time to heal both physically and emotionally. Take care x

Thank you, ladies. You have given me some valuable insights. I'm a rubbish patient; apart from problems with my menstrual cycle from the word go, and on/off spells of depression, I have always been strong and healthy (I know, I'm lucky) and I'm finding it hard not being able to bounce back as quickly as I thought I would. Recovery from surgery was pretty good, but the radiotherapy has knocked the stuffing out of me - more than I'd anticipated. @fairycake, thanks for the reminder about Cruse - I'd forgotten about that organisation, and I may contact them for help with my grieving, which has some complications! 

@MrsBJH I hope your next chemo session goes well and that you get a good result. 

XX

Hi Gelisdefleury,

I totally understand.  I had exactly the same, total hysterectomy July last year followed by 25 days of radiotherapy, and feel generally ok apart from a few digestive issues, but a few weeks ago the mental impact of everything I have been through suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks!    I’ve been to the Force centre and am having some Councelling with them which is helping.  It’s so odd, I thought I was fine!  Apparently it’s very common and is a kind of post traumatic stress.  X

Hi Flowerhead, 

It sounds as if we are on a parallel path - even the dates are similar! I think the focus on getting through all the treatment and trying to be strong must catch up eventually - sooner or later! I'm glad you are getting some counselling to help you. The right counsellor can be a real boon when you are troubled, I know. I live in Greece, so getting that kind of help here isn't an option - I live in a small town where there isn't much access to English speaking professionals of that type, and my Greek certainly isn't up to it. As I said above, I may contact Cruse to help with my grieving, as it is bound up with my treatment - the timing just couldn't have been worse all round. We will see! I'm just really up and down, and the day when I made my first post was a really bleak one - feeling a little more positive today, thankfully, and hope you are too. XX

Hi Gelisdefleury,

Glad you are feeling a bit brighter today.  It’s a bit of a roller coaster isn’t it!  I hope you get some help from cruse.  Take care.  Xx