Down days

Hi Andi

Sorry to hear you're having a down day, we've all been there!

Once lockdown happened in March, I was so nervous about catching Covid I was terrified of going to the shops where there always, even back then, numpties who didn't think masks, hand sanitisers were necessary. Eventually in addition to online shopping at Tesco, I opened accounts with Asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury's and even post Waitrose. (which I won't ever use as I object to paying and extra £1 for the same items!) 

During all my hospital tests and scans I became quite neurotic, changing out of my clothes and showering as soon as I got back.

I haven't been in a large shop since April & yes, until I get my jab, don't think I want to ever go back in a crowded store. I now live in a very rural area and the thought of shopping in a city, something I loved years ago, holds no interest whatsoever.

But my upside is I love nature and we've got lovely walks around here for the dogs and as I'm retired (17 years) walk 5/6 miles daily. Plus we're only 6 miles from the East coast beaches.

I can understand why the thought of returning to work scares you, so many selfish people are not adhering to the rules. I'd have a chat with your GP, explain your concerns and they might sign you off for a bit longer. Beating cancer is a little different to having a ingroing toenail removed.

Big hugs, Barb xx 

Thank you Barb, I’ll get there I’m sure of it xx

Hi Andi,

I feel exactly like you, just with the Covid scare!!!  Whereas before I'd pop into a shop for anything, now I avoid it, and manage without. I haven't been out for a meal since last February, and have no desire to, now. My husband (ever the optimist ) asked what we are doing about holidays this year! I just grimaced and said it depended on camp sites being open. We have a motor home, and  I have no more desire to go abroad than fly to the moon at the moment.

I think you have a lot to get over. Getting back to normal after cancer takes some doing, without Covid as well. xxxx

Thank you....️

Hi Andi! I had Stage 1A endometrial cancer dia

Sorry, hit send too soon! I had the diagnosis in October 2020 and a full hysterectomy. With a few setbacks, I healed pretty well, but am finding myself scared about Covid, recurrence etc. I am lucky to be retired, but were I still working, I would definitely speak to my employer. Hopefully, your employer will help you by doing a health and safety  review with you to make sure there is nothing in your job that would be harmful physically as you continue with your physical recovery. I hope they are also open to allowing you a phased return, where you can start off on reduced hours and build up to full time. As well as protecting your physical recovery, this will help you regain your emotional confidence about getting back into work. This would have been an issue pre Covid but is even more important now. Don’t hesitate to ask your gp if they can offer support, advice and guidance too. I hope it all goes well!

Hi NewbieAndi

How are you feeling today? Any better or has the national lockdown given you more stress. You know what it’s totally normal feeling, what your going through I think we have all been there. The extra stress of worrying about covid and feeling you are only safe at home. I try to go for a walk away from people as much as i can even if just round the block it’s good to get some fresh air although it is pretty cold out. And one thing for certain you are not going mad!

sending you a big gentle bear hug  

One month post surgery? Don’t even think about going back to work. The emotional toll kicks in long after the physical scars start to heal. Take your time as you’ve been through a lot, I can’t imagine having Covid on top of what I went through. Take care

You know NewbieAndi i am actually surprised that your looking at going back to work by the end of the month, i just don’t understand surely your not being pressured to return to work this early on in your recovery, if so thats awful and i was actually shocked about that, I have even been looking at much earlier messages over the years and never saw anyone having to return this soon. The physical is one thing but the emotional side as Galanthophile  said takes a lot longer. Definitely speak to your Gp if necessary and get an extension on your sick note or ask your consultant to do it, you definitely need more time and especially with covid going round. As we are more vulnerable to picking anything up when our body has been fighting to repair itself after a major op, which it is no matter if it’s keyhole or open, never mind a recovery from cancer, and with how easy covid is spreading you really don’t want that on top of everything, take your time and heal fully and like I said before have little walks away from people for some fresh air and exercise don’t over do it, I found it helped me in my recovery it took time but I eventually walked a bit further and it was exhausting me doing that. We all recover in different time scales and it is an individual thing of course. 

On a personal note I discovered why I struggled more then others  to recover, because underlying health issues that I stupidly thought had gone away years ago got triggered and now i am having to still deal with that as well as new things and unknowns which really does frustrate me, it’s taken a long time for me to except that it is what it is, but I still wish I knew exactly what the cause is for so many things, I found out I have an immune deficiency which causes recurring infections in my head as well as kidney and bladder and bowl problems where i have had a few reaccurrance scares with, but i am not totally sure if all that is the cause of the heart rate issue as i have a delayed QT interval which makes my heart rate suddenly drop and can be pretty painful it showed up on my ECG but the Doctor isn’t sure what causes it and they will not let me drive now until they are sure of its cause and its under management of treatment, I take blood pressure tablets which i am sure helps at least although I know its a separate problem,which I understand, i was resisting stopping driving because I wanted my independence back but we have to do what is right, i get blackouts and sudden dizziness but being so young I wanted to think i was invincible yes it happens to us all we have these thoughts, when you used to doing so much then find you cannot do these things any more it takes time to except it. I find it effected my mental health I wanted to carryon regardless but i had a few bad scares which put me in hospital, and now i fear the hospital even more because of covid. My Doctor is doing everything possible to treat me at home but I admit to feeling so frustrated not being able to do things i used to, i used to love scuba diving I still do but can no longer do it as its not safe for me, I tried to do a shallow dive over a year ago and scared myself big style when I came up and couldn’t focus my poor dive buddy had to drag me out the water and i just cried so much. But i have excepted my limitations and had to except that finding the causes maybe a lot harder then i ever imagined. I am so glad I found art, thats my therapy and I hope to be able to sell some to pay for the costs over the years for the art materials, i started the thread the “the womb girls arts and crafts “ as I knew it helps me. My Doctors are trying to run though a few thought but covid complicated everything but at least my Doctor was brave enough to say that they didn’t know, I respect that more then anything. You see there is still many things about our bodies that we simply cant put a name too. , but i am now having to shield again because of covid. So please please don’t rush back working only you know when your well enough to be going back, I wouldn’t like to see you rushing back to just simply put your recovery back even further which is a very difficult thing to deal with again. If your getting pressured by your employer I would seriously look at getting some advice and guidance and you can get support and information from one of our Ask a Work Support Adviser  and ask about employment rights. I get very concerned that people are being forced back into work when they are recovering from cancer and you do have certain levels of employment protection too when it comes to cancer.Definitely have a think about it. For now just concentrate on getting well and I hope you get all the support you need right now. I can’t help being a bit of a Momma bear.

sending you a big gentle bear hug