Hi everyone, having spent about four days reading all I can on here and witnessing the close bond you all have in this particular misery, I thought I would start my journey with you.
I have had a ghastly year in 2023, in March I discovered that my partner of eleven yeas was seeing someone behind my back who thought he was single. I had to move out and find somewhere to live with my little elderly cat and ended up buying a luxury Motorhome and moving into that. My mother died suddenly three weeks later and my beloved 17 year old cat passed away three days after that. It has been very stressful, I have had amazing trips around Scotland in the summer, as well as Cornwall and Kent. Sailing around Greece and time in Portugal, so not all grim.
In September, things took a turn down once again and I found myself in A&E at 3am with a bleed, feeling very alone and without support. This lead to scans and a failed biopsy, then one under general aesthetic. I fell over the next day and sprained my knee ( I think I was still under the influence of the GA to be honest), so have spent Christmas on crutches.
Eventually I found myself in front of a doctor glibly telling me that I have cancer. Possibly the fastest appointment I have ever had for something so b life changing.
I am quite sure this is my body saying that the stress of the year has been too much and something had to give.
I am very much alone in all of this. I told my brother who is my only remaining relative and his reaction was, if I felt so wasn't going to be here for Christmas next year, he would be with me this but he would rather go to California. So that is exactly where he is now. He doesn't care. Neither of us have had children.
I am 60 and feel very much alone. A very dear school friend who I have known since we were 11 has invited me to live with him as he looked after his mum when she had cancer 12 years ago. So very kind but not like your own space when you aren't well.
I am having period pains now and have to confess that I have had an abnormal discharge for a couple of years and put it down to the menopause, so I probably have been with cancer for some time.
Nervous about the Hysterectomy which is going to have to be abdominal, but more nervous with the increased discomfort that the cancer is growing as I wait.
Hi Roxanna
With staging they can give you a provisional stage and grade but after surgery they look in more depth at the pathology and it can sometimes change. I would imagine you will have a scan at some point and this is something you could ask about at your pre op appointment next week.
At the pre op they should explain to you where the scar/incision will be and this can vary with our own size/shape/anatomy and medical history. They will be able to talk you through this and will give you time to ask questions.
At my pre op I was first seen by my consultant who explained the procedure and gave me the opportunity to talk about the cancer and ask anything. I had height, weight, blood pressure, ECG, was asked about medications, went through admission and where to go etc. Booked in for a Covid test. Had MRSA swab test. Talked about going home and what to expect and asked about support at home. I also had time with my CNS to talk things through.
It is good that you do not have to wait too much longer for the surgery and just try to think of it as time to get ready. Sort comfy clothes for hospital, sort things at home, have some shopping in etc. I can understand it is worrying waiting for the op but try and think of it that it is getting rid of the cancer rather than dreading it. I tried to have the mindset that the op was good as it was the first step to getting on the road to recovery.
Good Luck and if you need anything else please do ask
Jane
I did find I was really tired on the lead up to the operation and I think it was all the emotions and worry as much as the physical cancer. All the trips back and forwards to hospital etc- they all add up.
When my treatment stopped I felt exhausted for a long time, partly from side effects but also from processing all the emotions and feelings. I still have the odd day now but on the whole feel a lot more like me again.
