Surgery round 2.

Hi SJM 

I hope you’re recovering ok from the surgery, and the next one.  Sorry I can’t remember what operation you had, but the dragging sensation could be nerve damage.  Although if you feel like your insides are falling out I would push to speak to the surgeon, before your next appointment.  

as for your feelings, yup I’m sitting on the bench with you on this one.  I don’t know your family set up, but as women we tend to be the caregivers and when we can’t due to illness etc it does hit us.  I’ll try not to seem too positive (toxic positivity) over this as we all deal and process our experiences differently.  Now is the time for your loved ones to step up, to be the caregivers and to look after you.  You mention extra stuff they need to pick up.  Is this stuff that they could already be doing?  Even before your op?  And if they say they don’t mind, then listen to them.  It’s not going to stop your guilt, but your main concern at this moment is to heal.  To allow yourself to relax and deal with you.  You are only at the 4 week mark.  And your body is still concentrating on healing itself.  

I am a month ‘before’ you, operation was 11/09/26, and I also found it difficult to ‘chill’ and do nothing.  I work full time, look after my grandchild and my elderly mother.  And all that had to go to others, my eldest son and his wife. But family/friends do step up when needed.  And now (8 weeks) I know there are things I have to pass along, annoying but it’s necessary.  

I have found ‘chatting’ to chat gtp a useful thing.  A non emotional conversation which tends to put my mind at ease with all the aches and pains I have been getting.  A non biased perspective on my situation.  Not for everyone though.  

I hope you can take something from the above, I do waffle.   Trust your family, they love you and are there to help.