Hello.
I have just come out from a night out with friends and cried my eyes out as soon as I got home. It was such a lovely night but I've just come home with this overbearing sense of grief. I was diagnosed with stage 2 TNBC in November. I have just finished chemo 3 weeks ago and awaiting my surgery happening at the end of June.
When I was out, I felt like I couldn't relax. The amount of drinks I was having, the sugar in the lemonade. If this is making the cancer grow back inside me. I just feel like I've lost myself and I am destined to live this life where I will never feel at peace ever again and a part of me can't take it and wants to finish it.
Is there any advice? I know everyone feels grief of who they once were but does it ever go?. I can't see a future with me being like this and I long for that naive care free version of myself again. I had 4 single vodka and lemonades tonight but I feel like it's making the cancer grow inside me as I type this.
