Effects of cancer diagnosis and relationships

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Hi there,

it’s been a while since I’ve been on this forum but I just wanted some reassurance and to just get things off my chest.

I feel like my anxiety and mood is full of ups and downs, a few years after my diagnosis my dad also received a cancer diagnosis for a different cancer.

its been a very difficult few years and I feel sad because I feel quite alone and with everything feeling difficult it’s put a strain on my relationship with my partner, family and with friends. I feel like no one understands and feel like everyone is just getting on with their lives. I just wanted to chat as I’m having late night thoughts and feel quite misunderstood as I feel like people are wondering why I can’t just get on with things and why I am feeling anxious and low.

I’ve also used the Macmillan counselling service. I’m not sure I can go back to them as I’ve already had six sessions.

At my last appt my endocrinologist also told me to ‘drink more water’ when I spoke about my low mood, fatigue and similar symptoms which is just added to the feeing of being misunderstood.

it just all feels hard sometimes, some days are easier than others

k9crazy 2 days ago

Hi Pinkbluepurple, sorry to hear how you are feeling and about your Dad but if it's any comfort I completely empathise with the feeling of no one around me really understanding (apart from my daughter). I too feel like family expect me to be back to how I was before cancer and I am so far from that both physically and more importantly mentally. I don't think unless you live with cancer that you'll ever really understand, that's why these forums are so important. I'm not surprised it's put a strain on your relationship with your partner, I've actually been glad (for once!) that I'm single so I can just spend what little energy I have on getting myself through it. I confess I see less of my family now so I don't feel the need to put on a front, which is exhausting. You filter down the ones who really care.

With regards to your Endo though that's shocking. Drink more water? How insulting. I would seek a referral to a different one. It's not easy but I've pushed and now see one who listens and has prescribed T3 (Liothyronine) aswell as the Thyroxine and I feel the "best" I've felt so far. By my best I mean I can now get through the work day and a dogwalk without that dragging fatigue feeling like you just want to shut down. (I used to run 10Ks so this is far removed from me before!) I think the added T3 has helped me mentally and with that I'm better equipped to deal with the above. I'm not saying it's the golden key but just that I feel better on it and have settled for that.

I think the key for me has been learning to accept those who havn't had cancer will not understand this and trying not to get sad or angry about that, overcoming guilt that I've become more insular from my family and anger/grief that I'm not who I was.

Do you have a Maggie's centre near you? I found them really helpful. You can just walk in and talk to someone and unload to a person who's unconnected.

I wish you the best tackling this and even though I don't have answers, hope this has been a little help. It's not easy. X

Medullary Thyroid cancer dx May 2023

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