Dad has anaplastic thyroid cancer

Your dad has already done very well. This is such a terrible type of cancer. The breathing problems may well be a side-effect of the radiation or a sign that the cancer is constricting his windpipe. Either way, I'm sure he'll know he needs to tell the hospital.

Many people believe - with entirely the best motives - that they shouldn't have their loved ones with them towards the end for fear that you remember them as sick and not as the people they were before the cancer came along. My friend's mother wouldn't let her see her for the last 3-4 months of her life, and she's struggled with that ever since. However, even when it hurts the relatives, I do think we have to respect the wishes of the patient. I'd challenge him, of course. Make sure this isn't a 'no, no, no......oh go on then' resistance. Some patients will not you there because they don't want to interrupt your normal life of work and family or 'spoil Christmas' but if you make it plain you want to be there and he still says no, then it's probably better to go along with his wishes, even when they hurt. 

Thank you! He said last night his O2 had been 88 all weekend. I'm just trying to stay busy while I wait for his call from his scans today. I do hope he changes his mind, and I will push a little harder to come home when I talk to him today, but I will respect what he wants.