New here and terrified

  • 3 replies
  • 26 subscribers
  • 154 views

Hi there. I’m… totally new here. It’s the first time I’ve ever even been on the MacMillan cancer pages, so please bear with me if I say something dumb.i guess I’m here because I’m just turned 43, mid career, vegan, have an infant and 6-year old and BOOM. Just like that, life has gone pear shaped. 

I have a 1.5 inch (38mm) solid cyst in my right thyroid lobe with macrocalcifocation. I’ve been referred for FNA, had blood work done and spoken to my GP who was very reassuring. But my head and neck cancer referral has now come through and the GP notes so suspected cancer so I’m here on my couch with a sleeping infant on my lap. And I’m crying. A lot. 

I don’t know what to think or expect. On my head I just keep fearing for the worst. Am afraid to ask. Don’t know what to ask. Does the thyroid just get removed? How malignant? I don’t have a will or life insurance. Am I going to die from this? I’m crying even more now. 

So I thought maybe reaching out might help.im sorry to burden anybody with this. If anybody has thoughts to share, please lay them on me.  

  • Hey Imzadi,

    Sorry you've found yourself here but firstly, calm down! We all have done that thought of the worst straight away as soon as the cancer word is mentioned.

    Unfortunately for me mine turned out to be cancerous however it can be benign or something else. My advice is to wait for the FNA results before you panic too much! And hope and pray you get some good results, if not then you can lose your mind but you'll be needing to let it out as it's a long winded journey if it is.

    So let this out now, then you can start thinking of the bigger picture and that what if? Works both ways, what if it isn't? 

    Big hugs, you let it out as it is very scary when you see that and it relates to yourself but fingers crossed your results come back benign x

    1. Hi there.. I had a total thyroidectomy for a thyroid cancer with a similar size tumour to your cyst.  This was removed 4.5 years ago and there have been ups and downs and the worry is always there but I just think if 1 in 2 people are predicted to get a cancer in their lifetime, hopefully this was mine and I'm still living as well as I can.  It is a shock, something I'd never really considered and I think it's best to listen to many different people ie Macmillan, Doctors, Oncologists, other cancer patients and then just carry on.  The levothyroxine which you must take if your thyroid is totally removed, in my opinion does affect you but there are so many possible health issues in life that you simply have to keep positive and try your best to stay as much as possible the same person as you were before this journey began. It is difficult and for me, I feel as if I'm fighting the battle but in a normal way ie trying not to be too worried and keeping all appointments and familiar with the procedures etc but as I said, always question things...don't simply accept what people say immediately.
    2. Hope this reassuresyou a little.
    3. Best wishes..Diane
  • I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. The worry and unknowns have always been the hardest part for me and especially with young children. I was diagnosed when my little ones were 2 and 4 (I’m one year on now from diagnosis ). I’m not surprised you’re in floods of tears with your infant…it’s so hard anyway when they’re so little and to add the extra worry on top really is a lot to cope with. Do you have friends and family near by? One of my Mum friends at the school helped me hugely when I was waiting for biopsy results - just letting me cry.

    I really hope you get good news soon and if not, then it may be reassuring to know that most thyroid cancers are very treatable, although of course still life changing. I think we as patients are often so consumed by worry where the doctors are usually very confident in what they’re doing so I am sure you would be well looked after if it goes in that direction. 

    Look after yourself as much as you can x