Psychological crash after surgery and radioactive iodine treatment

Hi there. 

I think you are really brave that you acted on that urges that were bad for you. 

My diagnosis of Pappilary thyroid cancer started on 1st of March 2022. All went very fast, diagnosis, surgery, RAI. And then it stopped for few months and then another diagnosis as some cancer tissue left after first surgery so second surgery followed. I was devastated. I thought it will go smoothly as doctors planned it carefully but unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. Second surgery in Feb this year. For now all seems good. Bloods are good, thyroglobulin going down still so looks like this time they removed all. 

I did not have crash as you described it but started to suffer panic attacks. I know people think it's down to diagnosis however I am sure it's the high dose of thyroxine I am on caused it. Yes diagnosis was crap but I know myself and I was in multiple REAL BAD situations (almost homeless in new country without any family or friends or paedophile trying to snatch me when I was 14). So I believe when my dose will go down I will be able to stop sertraline gradually and my panic attacks will stop.

I would just advise you to be ready for a few setbacks. Even if there will be some you are still heading to the end of the treatment. 

Take care x

Thanks for the response, Isabell Fell.Glad that the blood are good for you now. My last last scan show there are some remnants of tissue after the frist surgery this September. The remnants could be harmless, but the doc can only be sure if the thyroglobulin values continue to drop. Will know at the end of November. And if not, I'll be in for another round of radio iodine therapy, apparently. At any rate, this is per se not the real problem, it is my mental health. And yes, I guess it is a form of courage to immediately seek help and not try to stick out a depression. No least since there are suicidal thoughts involved.

Yes, good point to be ready for setbacks. I do have a bit of a history of depression. But the depression that has hit me now has been more severe and more confusing that anything before. 

Hi 

1. I would just like to reassure you that this must be a normal thing.  I definitely felt very low very quickly...it's a mixture of things all happening so close together.  I was diagnosed just before the onset of the Covid Pandemic, then had the full thyroidectomy for papillary carcinoma, then got my first bout of Covid, next the RAI etc and then the Long Covid  followed by at least 2 years of basically no money to live on, locked down in an ever increasing abusive marriage followed by the death of my 18 year old loving cat, an unbelievable unsupportive family and finally a divorce.  Things are getting better slowly but we must keep going and being as positive as possible. My new cat, although, a bit scatty, is a super support for me.  I'm almost 60 and keeping as busy as possible...I wish you all the best....

Thanks, Diane10. That all sounds incredibly tough. Glad you out of the abusive relationship and rid of the unsupportive family. I actually have a great family, but my job has been stressing me a  lot and the thought of having to return to a high pressure environment and a difficult supervisor, even if just for a few months, is freakng me out.  

Stressful jobs...I also get that.  People continually say to me...you are such a strong person...maybe I am...but..as you know we all have our limits...and sometimes we have to accept this and seek help...not always easy to find though...I'm glad that you have found your help...keep going ....you're not alone....

Hi there, just want to add my voice and say that I agree that it took courage for you to realise that needed help because of your suicidal thoughts and that you took positive action. I hope that you're in a calm, supportive environment now on the ward and that the counselling next week is helpful  for you stsrt processing everything you’ve been through in such a short period of time.

For my part  I've found the delays in being diagnosed and treated one of the most stressful and depressing aspects of having cancer, so the opposite of your experience where it sounds like you've experienced shock at the speed at which you've been plunged into treatment, is that right? I found the lump last autumn and spoke to my GP immediately but it wasn't taken seriously and I had to keep pushing for action but it wasn't until nearly 7 months later that I actually had the tumour removed followed by a second operation  4 months after that and RAI a few weeks ago. So it's taken over a year for the treatment to be completed in all.

I hope you carry on posting on here, like Diane10 says, you're not alone. 

It’s not good you have nobody to actually talk to and as you say no doctor as of yet having any contact. Are you able to call Macmillan and talk with someone perhaps? I hope you get some answers soon and the right support you need, perhaps push for what the plan is if you haven’t already. 

Yes, as you say, good we can share here online. In my view, there should be flashing warning signs in neon on information relating to thyroid (and presumably other forms of cancer): "Beware, people with predispositions for depression or other insecurities can be sucked into a deep black hole". Instread, the messages tend to be on the upbeat side: "You may experience mild inconvenience, but given that thyroid cancer is by and large well treatable and the surgery minimal-invasive, it is NORMAL to go back to work around 2 weeks after surgercy and keep performing like you did before." I read about mild warnings of depression when going onto a low dose of L-Thyroxin in advance of the radioactive iodine therapy. But nothing prepared me for the sension of being hit like with bus, and a voice in my head telling me that I am no longer worthy of life and that whilst the cancer may derserve to live, certainly not me. Now that something has tipped in my mind, I feel like an utter freak and a failure, which has sparked a lot of auto-agression. I still haven't got to the bottom of this, my feelings and thoughts are honestly inexplixable to myself. It's dificult now at the week-end with no doctor to speak to, just nurses who dispense medication and other patients who seem to be in their own worlds.