My bloods are clear but still worried

Sorry to hear you have so bad feeling.

Can you just make an early ultrasound? Is it possible to pay by yourself?  Without the image, I don't think anyone can help you. 

Best Regards 

Aw Tony. The waiting is without doubt the worst part and I can only say that from a “partner of patient” point of view so know I can’t really understand what you are going through.

My husband paid for a private ultrasound as he didn’t want to wait for an apt date. From memory this was about £250/£300. But if you have an apt on 8th October and they got you in a few days earlier it is probably not worth it. 

So, 8/9 days to wait. One day at a time. Try not to google/ analyse/ predict. You can only do that by keeping busy. Have a plan for each of the next 8 days that mean your mind wins and this dreadful peace stealing illness does not! 

We are with you. And ( as I always offer unless people would rather I didn’t) happy to pray for that peace. 

When I was waiting for my husband’s CT results last Dec I remember one day thinking I absolutely cannot get to that date. I can’t wait! I was so anxious! I was googling to distraction. But then I remembered to just pray and that burden lifted the next day. In truth it never returned. Not even when my husband’s diagnosis was bumped from Stage 1 ( probably just surveillance ) to spread via blood to the lung ( and four cycles of chemo). I am truly not trying to convert or bible bash you. I just hate that you are dealing with such uncertainty and want you to have that peace and ability to live in only today. 

As I said, I am not the person who has suffered with this illness and could never full understand the journey you are on. Just know that although you might feel alone, us forum folks are with you, thinking about you and rooting for you on 8th. 

Thank you for your words. I can get through the next 8 days. I know I can. Just had a little wobble.

I know you can!

Hi Tony,

Unfortunately you are now part of the waiting game, which might be worse because its a game you have played before, and you have had both negative and positive outcomes from.  Nothing I can say is going to put your mind at rest until you have the ultrasound, and you may then have to wait until a follow up appointment, though my experience of ultrasounds is I knew the result at the time as the ultrasound operator shared their view of the results.  First time "its a tumour" and second time "its clear".

I know from my own experience I spent hours trying to put the jigsaw pieces together in my head, despite not having all the pieces.  One minute I'd have it clear in my head, its cancer I have cancer, within 10 minutes I've managed to switch in my head, and convince myself everything is fine.  The mental side of this journey is usually the hardest part of this journey, and for that we have to be grateful, as others with different forms of cancer that do not have such a good prognosis have to go through all the same mental struggles of uncertainty and waiting times, but with out such  optimism if the news is not want they want to hear.

No matter the outcome you have, you will have a journey to take, but very very likely you will be here to assist others in the future with "The Waiting Game", something I have already seen you do, offering coping mechanisms to deal with the waiting, keep busy.

For the record, I was MGC and my bloods were originally normal, upon relapse they were not normal. 

Its easy said, but you can not solve this riddle before the 8th October.  You will try, but will not be able to.  The 8th October is next Tuesday, only one more weekend to get through, and it will be the next day after Monday you get news.

A quick search for Tony Soprano quotes bought this beauty up  - "I wipe my ass with your feelings."  Not sure its relevant but it made me smile!

Take care

Dan

Good luck today Tony! We are with you!