Early localised prostate cancer

Hi Patz67 

Welcome to the group - but I am sorry that you have had to join us.  The folk here are lovely and knowledgable and will be along to contribute I am sure.

If you could give us a little more info about yourself it would assist the more knowledgable ones to offer advice (Age, PSA for instance -only if you wish to).  If you want to see what the contributor's story is then click on our name or roundel.

Fears, anxieties and emotional moments are all to be expected - this is something you didn't want and has the potential to change the way you move forward.  I didn't get the chance to go on AS - it was straight into it for me upon diagnosis so I can only empathise empathise regarding the frustrations being felt - I don't think they are limited to only being under AS.  I have a 3 monthly blood test next week and I am already anxious about it even though I have been "undetectable" since April.  I also start RT next week which is adding to the anxiety - and I know there is nothing to be worried about...

It is fantastic that you have found a support group - and I am sure that you have found that those in the know really get it?  

Fortunately my wife has been supportive since the start.  This is a couples disease.  In fact I only complemented her this afternoon on how she was talking to people at the MacMillan Coffee Morning we went to today, she was telling folk about my issue and how we were going to the hospital next week.  I have found that honesty about my feelings and issues has been the best way to have conversations, some difficult and some hilarious (don't mention the penis pump!!).  She has said how difficult it is for her - that I am not able to do the things which I used to do on a daily basis - the ongoing fatigue of my treatment makes a marked difference to how I am able to do things.  This is just added pressure for her.

I have been encouraging her to talk to her friends and that has certainly helped her as there has been an enormous amount of "bottling up" over the past year.  Only this afternoon she went for a chat at Maggie's - but that was her friend Maggie down the road.  We don't have a "proper " Maggies near us - but do you?  Also use the helplines either on here or via Prostate Cancer UK.

The uncertainty of the future is burdensome, but it is better to share that burden if you can.  I suspect that a gradual approach would work better and some open conversations about the fears that both of you have.

I wish you all the best - good luck.

Thank you for for replying, I'm 59 years old, I was diagnosed in November last year. My PSA was 4.5, the only reason I went to see the doctor was 2 reasons, firstly my wife made me go and secondly for a couple of months, I'd been struggling to go to the toilet for a pee, either I couldn't go at all, or felt like I needed to go again after I had been, my wife said it could be prostate cancer, which I dismissed straight away, I thought it was an age thing until I saw the symptoms I was having was that of prostate issues.

So I had my blood test, then the MRI scan and then the biopsy, I did ask after I had the biopsy if it was anything to worry about, the consultant said its best to wait for the results, his face kind of gave away what the outcome would be.

Then the 10th November I got the results it was early localised prostate cancer, so tomorrow is the 1st anniversary.

A couple of weeks later I went into denial, the phone calls from the hospital, oncology team and Macmillan stopped. I was thinking I can't have cancer, they said there's no need for treatment, unless I wanted it. I didn't want it when they explained the worse case scenarios to me. My wife never asked me about it, I never mentioned it and friends at work said they were worried as I just carried on as if everything was OK. 

January this year, my first appointment, was when it finally hit me that I'm living with prostate cancer, my consultant simply said just because you have cancer, your still allowed to enjoy your life, that hit hard for me.

I started having anxieties, emotional feelings and fears, they all hit at once, which made it difficult for me to deal with. I knew I needed help so I reached out to Macmillan as I didn't know who to turn to first, they suggested Andys Man Club, I gave it a go, it wasn't for me, then I tried Hope House, a local charity near me, it's run by people affected by cancer, rather than people that know about it. They were really understanding, as I've been here before, I lost my first wife to cancer 18 years ago, so now I understand it from both sides.

I spoke to my wife and told her I'd been struggling and that I'd been in touch with Macmillan and Hope House, she said to me that she was pleased that I was with support groups because she said she didn't know what to say, she still doesn't. She's been to coffee mornings that Hope House do on the last Saturday of each month, I think it was then that she realised it was for her as well. I go there on Tuesday and Wednesdays on my days off, we don't talk about cancer, what we've been through or who we've lost, it's just 2 hours of spending time with people that understand, drinking tea and eating cake and forgetting about cancer and loss for those 2 hours. Everyone leaves happy, because we all enjoyed those 2 hours.

My wife still doesn't talk about it, but she does come to my appointments with me, sometimes I think that she thinks we're just dealing with a simple illness. I'm not sure she fully understands the emotional side of things, or if she does, she doesn't want to show it incase she breaks down herself.

My last appointment was last Tuesday, I mentioned that I'd been experiencing tiredness and fatigue, my consultant assured me, it wasn't the cancer, but I should see my GP as something came up on my bloods. My wife looked at the blood results, she's training to be a dispenser at a chemist, and said they're fine. Even though my GP has already made an appointment for me next Wednesday for the results. 

That's my journey up to now, sorry I've babbled on

Please keep babbling on - it will feel much better to get it out/down on the thread than bottle stuff up.  Have you considered that tiredness and fatigue can also be caused by stress?  I am no medic but I have been there!

I was explaining the "Boiling frog theory" to my wife the other day....

Thank you 

I did think about stress, hopefully I'll find out more next week. 

Yes I've heard of the boiling frog theory..... 

Thank you 

Take care