Husband just diagnosed

Sorry to hear you’re going through this too. My husband was diagnosed in January with advanced prostate cancer and he is 44. I found this forum and it gave me a lot of comfort to hear from people who have been on this journey for years and years, and to be reassured that new treatments are coming through all of the time. I remember someone saying that the diagnosis stage is the hardest and it does get easier when you into treatment and have a plan - and that’s definitely my experience. My husband’s PSA has gone from 186 to 0.2 and that also makes things easier to deal with on the day to day. We are working with a nutritionist, and an integrative oncologist - it’s not for everyone but definitely a path we are glad we’ve explored, for giving us a focus and feeling of control if nothing else. Please do message me if you want further details. Sending love and strength xxx

ItHello Summer S and welcome from another wife. My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 in July 2020 and is still going strong albeit it is a rollercoaster of a journey. Since he was diagnosed protocols have changed giving men a chance of going into remission in some cases so stay positive and take one day at a time. The PSMA PET scan is the best scan you can have and will help determine the correct treatment for your husband. A prognosis cannot or should not be given at the moment as there are different types of prostate cancer which can behave in different ways to treatment. Learning about the different treatments gave me some feeling of control but at the moment you don't know what you are dealing with and you can end up going down a rabbit hole. A good source of information is a book which you can download for free.

https://issuu.com/magazineproduction/docs/js_prostate_cancer_guide_for_patients_ezine

There are changes to the diet which can help such as reducing caffeine, processed food, animal fats, full fat dairy, eggs. Eating a diet with plenty of fruit and veg, fish, beans. There is a book produced by the Royal Marsden which has some good recipes.

https://shop.royalmarsden.org/products/the-royal-marsden-cancer-cookbook-2023

Please ask any questions and we will try and help. It is a steep learning curve but things do get better as Anna42 has said in her lovely post.

Thank you so much for replying, and for such a lovely message. I’d really love details of who you worked with and if you’d recommend? I’m not sure how to send you a private message though! 
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis, and at just 44, I imagine that was a shock, but wonderful his PSA is so low. It gives me hope for my own husband. Thank you x

Thank you so much for your reassuring reply, and for those two sources of information - really useful. And just thank you for being so kind x

Hi

I am going through the same and understand your feelings and anxieties. My husband was diagnosed in May with 2 tumours in his prostate, Gleason 8 and 9, and 5 spots on his spine. Incureable prostate cancer.

I was in shock,panic and very anxious about the future. It felt like we had joined the world of cancer and life had changed.

Once you get a treatment plan and begin that part of the journey it helps to calm things down.

I would say just focus on what you know and nothing else. This stops thoughts spiralling out of control and keeps emotion in check.

We are in the middle of my husband's 1st cycle of chemotherapy. So far it has been very manageable. We are looking forward to many more years together. Best wishes.

Hi SS (Summer S ), the PSMA PET may take a while to get the results, but I am pleased your consultant has suggested this as it is by far the most accurate scan to detect any micro metastases.  I am slightly confused that you said T3 but stage 4.  Do you have a TNM score from the biopsy?  I was T3bN1M0 G9 PSA 74 at outset and am still going 8 years on.  Things will settle down once you get treatment underway.  Has your OH been started on anything yet?  Try not to Google as it will only depress you with misinformation, but use this forum and PCUK as reliable sources.  Ask any questions, we will try and answer.  David

Hi David, thank you for your reply. I’m sorry you are part of this club and yes, I’m confused too! I don’t think my husband has a full TNM score yet, other than T3. 
His MRI scan was clear for bones & lymph nodes, but the consultant seems convinced it will have spread to other parts of his body, hence the PSMA Pet later this week.

No, he hasn’t started on anything yet (apart from some dietary changes!). We have another appointment next Monday to discuss what to do, once we have the PSMA Pet results. 

Thank you for replying, and I’m so sorry to hear the awful shock you had. It all feels very surreal, doesn’t it? 
I’m glad to hear your husband’s chemo is going well. I suspect this will be our path too x