Struggling to make the big decision

Hi Baldy,

It's a very individual choice as to which treatment option to have when there is more than one to choose from rather than a one size fits all.  There are possible side effects with either & what's important to one person may not be to someone else.  It's also important to note that everyone reacts differently so may only get some minor side effects whilst others may have a different experience.

My best advice is to read up as much as you can using reliable sources such as Prostate Cancer UK / Macmillan / Cancer research & avoid using the general internet (google) & make a list of pros & cons for each to help you decide.

I was diagnosed as gleason 4 + 3 = 7 & chose to go down the RT / HT route mainly on the basis that I knew I didn't want to have an operation or spend time in hospital (the wimp in me).  If it helps, you can read my journey by clicking on the icon next to my name.

I'm sure others will be along shortly to give you some additional thoughts & help.  Also, if you have any questions (there is no such thing as a silly question on this site) then ask away.

Best Wishes

Brian

Hi Brian,

Thanks for your response, it was very useful to read about your journey in your profile.  I think these profiles give a good way of comparing how the different treatments impact on different people, much more real than the (understandably) dry / factual explanations in the leaflets. 

Good evening.

i do not know how this forum works in relationship to posting advice or if I am even qualified to do so. Perhaps someone can put me straight on that one. Anyway I was in a very similar situation to you and as we are of a similar age group we probably have the same experiences of health care. I was brought up believing that the doctor knows best and the concept of making a decision with such big implications was totally alien to me. However I worked my way round this by reading scholarly literature on both treatments 

Sorry part 3. I am a genuine techno phone.

Do not read Dr google or wikedpedia, they just complicate matters. Whilst you will never have the knowledge a consultant has you will at least be able to ask the right questions to answer to help you make the right decision for you based on your lifestyle. Armed with this information and with support from patients on this forum and the prostate cancer forum I was able to make what is a life changing decision that little bit easier. I am at a point now when the decision was made and I have no doubts what so ever that the choice I made was the right one for me. I have had days when I have been able to do nothing but cry but it has nothing to do with my choice, just the unfairness of it all. I suppose it could be seen as self pity but the one thing I have learnt by chatting on here  is that it is acceptable to be both angry and sad at times but even now, after a very short time I can see a future. The cancer is dead long live the patient.

if I’ve got it wrong please let me know. I have found this forum so supportive I do not want to mess it up by giving duff advice.

Al 985 

Hello Al985 . Anyone who has a diagnosis of prostate cancer in the family, or even a friend is welcome to get involved on the forum. We all have a different experience which can be of value to someone else and help others as they find their way through the diagnosis or treatment but also if they just want a chat. Your post is fine and very helpful and what some people find useful is to record their journey on their profile so that others can get a better idea of the full journey. I think you have hit the nail on the head by saying do your research but also that you come to a decision which you are comfortable with. I hope your treatment goes well and keep posting - you are doing well as a technophobe and practice will make it easier.

Hi Baldy

Stats look lowish but T3 would indicate has just left the gland although you are saying just bulging?

I had a Bulger and went down the EBRT route, seemed so easy compared to major surgery 

Also I have always thought that once left the gland then better with RT but obviously just my opinion.

Am sure whatever u decide will be ok

Best wishes 

Steve 

Hi Baldy,

I chose LARP because a few years earlier my older brother had the surgery and recovered quite well.  He was 70 at the time of the op.  When I found out that I needed treatment, I just felt surgery would hopefully take out the cancer once and for all (no guarantees).  It has been just over 6 weeks since I had the op (beginning of January 2025).  I am feeling good and started work again this week.  Check out my bio where I have tried to describe my recovery process. 

My 60th birthday was 10 days after the op!!

Just to say my readings (misdiagnosed at the beginning at T2), PSA 4.5, T3a, N0,MX.  The lesion was on the boundary and next to the right neurovascular nerve bundle.  The right side bundle was cut out during the surgery.  That meant the rejoining with bladder wider on this side and so the catherter was in for two weeks (the other patient on the day only need 7 days for his catherter - I was really jealous) to make sure it properly healed.

Just found out yesterday that the op was successful.  My first post op PSA test was undetectable (less than 0.05) and going forward I will no longer see the surgeon anymore but will be monitored by PSA test and telephone appointments for 5 years.

I hope this helps.  As everyone says here it is a personal choice.  

Hi Al 985

Thanks for your response, I am finding this forum really useful, it is good to get inputs from people who are in the same position or have already been there/ done that.

I have stayed away from Google as you suggest, much prefer to get my info from the respected source.

And no, you definitely have not got it wrong, 

Thanks

Baldy

Hi Baldy.

The hardest part by far is the emotional turmoil I am experiencing. I knew from even before I got my diagnosis confirmed that surgery was the best for me, other people I have spoken to made the choice to have  radiotherapy and they are just as confident that the decision they made was right for them. But no one prepared me  for the tears and the anger that’shas become, I hope , a temporary  situation. It is of course the “why me” question that no one can answer, that is the stumbling block. But I am assured that as time progresses this becomes less of an issue as you gradually accept something you can’t change anyway.

I await the removal of my catheter and the subsequent cystogram after which, now the surgeon has worked his magic, my hard work begins.

Al 985